What's this site all about then?

Batman?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, star of brilliant films like The Dark Knight Rises, Brick and 500 Days of Summer (and overrated films like Inception as well as the crime against humanity that was Looper) is back in every geeks good books today as rumours over a possible role as the next Batman have restarted.

It was strongly implied that he would assume the mantle at the end of The Dark Knight Rises when he wandered into the Batcave and set off all of Bruce Wayne's weird little doodads. He had a look on his face akin to that of a teenager who's just found Hugh Heffner's private stash of porn. Jackpot baby!

It only makes sense that someone in his position would become the new Batman, his only other choice would be to open it up to the idiots from Storage Wars and see which one wins the auction.

Unfortunately all that bullshit I just spouted is just that; bullshit and pure speculation, most of which is only slightly less credible than the rumour mongering that Hit-Fix is trying to pass off as solid gold news,

...Nolan is working with Warner Bros. on the "Man Of Steel" relaunch this summer, and as we reported earlier today, director Zack Snyder is starting to hint at the idea that his film is part of a larger continuity.

Certainly, the ending of "The Dark Knight Rises" hints at a possible future for the franchise, and there has been much speculation about whether or not they'll work to connect the end of that film to the larger world of DC properties that Warner is so desperate to create.  Over the last couple of weeks, that speculation seems to have turned into conversation, and that conversation seems to be solidifying into a plan.

Yeah, very good Hit-Fix, but anyone can just make up stoires, it's part of our evolution. Joseph Gordon-Levitt loves to eat spiders. See what I did there? I just made something up, now maybe we can speculate on just which type of spiders he likes to eat and it'll get picked up as "conversation/solidified fact" by some desperate website. I'm going with Black Widows, lets say he likes the way they taste on muffins. Mmmm spikey.

Source: Hit-Fix

 

The kid from "Two And A Half Men" wants out

Awww look at him! That cute kid from "Two and a Half Men" has grown into a...umm...slightly odd looking adult with weird eyes.

Usually when child actors mature into normal looking humans it kills their careers, but this guy is one of the few to buck that trend.

Since starting on the sitcom Angus T Jones has racked up a fortune of somewhere in the region of $15 million. He also earns about $350,000 per episode.

You'd think earning $8.4 million a year would keep anyone happy and maintain their enthusiasm for the job for years to come.

Apparently that isn't the case for Angus though. He's had enough, and he's going about sabotaging his career in one of the most original ways I've ever seen.

“If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it and filling your head with filth. People say it’s just entertainment. Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, especially with what you watch.”

O...kay

“If I am doing any harm, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be contributing to the enemy’s plan. … You cannot be a true God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can’t. I’m not OK with what I’m learning, what the Bible says and being on that television show.”

This isn't that dissimilar to what Charlie Sheen did when trying to leave "Two And A Half Men", only instead of using religion as an excuse to bad mouth his show Charlie slagged off the creator for not agreeing with him all the time, did a massive amount of cocaine and had sex with as many prostitutes as he could get his hands on that weren't already booked for Tiger Woods.

Ironically Jones has gone in completely the opposite direction to Sheen by following the route of not wanting to "contribute to the enemies plan". The enemy, I assume, is Satan. I'd have thought Satan's plan would have less to do with producing a terrible sitcom and more to do with intolerance. I'd say destroying your career and attacking the staff (and fans) who made you famous in the first place could be classed as intolerance.

I'd also question how much of this is his formed opinion as apposed to the opinion(s) of the people in his adopted church. Maybe his new found faith has become all consuming and the things he's hearing from other church members have settled in his mind. There's definitely an argument to be made for possible indoctrination, I guess we should just be happy it's religion that's become lodged in his new obsession instead of the Charlie Sheen way of thinking which is basically, "Hookers, Coke, BOOOZE...more Hookers! RRRAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

 

I'm not going on a...Summer Holiday

Look at Cliff there, all happy and young and camp. He's driving his pretty double decker bus around without a care in the world. It's quite the idyllic picture isn't it!?

So, inspired by this image of laid back perfection I'm going to take a shitty train journey through parts of the country that may or may not be completely flooded before I even set off.

In fact if it carries on raining the way it has been lately I may get to follow in Cliff's footsteps after all, because if the train line floods I'll get to ride on a replacement bus service. A service which takes twice as long and is ten times more uncomfortable than a train. Oh yeah, and you can't have a dump.

That's something you never saw in Summer Holiday was it? Cliff and his pals getting in each others way, arguing over luggage space and ruing the lack of toilet facilities on their mobile party bus.

The usual rules apply for my time away; I won't be posting on Monday (the 26th) or Thursday (the 29th) but hopefully the journey will either give me some Inconsiderate Travellers material or plenty of chances to take pictures of my train disappearing into water like the Titanic. We can but hope.

 

Run! He'll kill us all!

I'm pretty certain that when most people think about what mad scientists would be like they think of someone that is basically 95% Nikola Tesla.

That belief is not without good reason either, he cultivated an image of weirdness to the point of actually boasting about inventing and testing a giant death ray. In reality Tesla was basically a geek, or, more accurately, the greatest geek of all time.

Like most intelligent geeks (I'm the other kind) he was very patient, and would often spend hours or even days thinking about every facet of his ideas before even committing them to paper.

While he isn't as well known or recognised as his contemporaries (largely because they continually screwed him over) he is acknowledged in some circles as 'The Father of Electricity'. Quite a title, maybe this guy is his rightful heir...or maybe he's really fucking dangerous.

A man is accused of recklessly producing household electricity with a homemade transformer, a court heard on Friday.

Charles McKenzie is alleged to have rigged up a "dangerous transformer assembly" at his flat in Dundee's Dudhope Court.

The charge said he "culpably and recklessly" produced electricity "with total disregard for the safety of yourself and others".

Sheriff George Way asked: "I don't quite understand - how does one culpably and recklessly produce electricity?"

Fiscal depute Laura Bruce said: "The Crown's position is that he had this man made assembly in his house suspended from the ceiling by thin ropes."

Even the judge or "Sheriff" was dumbfounded by this one. Seriously, how do you make electricity? It's not like you can just slide along a carpet in conductive shoes and try and trap the resulting kinetic energy in an old jam jar. This guy might have stumbled on to something here! Maybe he was just going about it wrong...all we really need is a large castle with a retractable roof, a deranged assistant (preferably with some sort of odd physical appearance like giant thighs or a massive forehead) and, of course, several hundred extra body parts dug up from graves.

Once we have all of those things I'm absolutely certain we can bring a dead body back to life. Oh right, we were trying to make electricity weren't we? Ok well for that I'll need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats and one of us must learn to play the trumpet.

Source: STV News

 

Sexus est Magna!

Ahh Oxford! What a wonderful place you are! The "City of Dreaming Spires" really is an almost ethereal location; it's home to breathtaking architecture, has a lengthy cultural heritage and one of the oldest Universities in the world.

People have been learning from lecturers and smart arses in Oxford since around about 1096, just 30 years after William The Bastard The Conqueror arrived from Normandy and changed the country forever.

It's education system has worked wonders to. The Uni has produced hundreds of luminaries throughout history, including Kings Edward VII and King Edward VIII, Prime Ministers Ted Heath, Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair and David Cameron as well as very talented "normals" like Rowan Atkinson, Tim Berners-Lee (inventor of the World Wide Web), Philip Larkin, Dudley Moore, T E Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) and...umm...Hugh Grant.

I wonder if all of those Alumni were as sex mad as this current bunch are (I'm looking at you Berners-Lee)?

Female Oxford students are flocking to a no-strings sex website. The site, www.ShagAtUni.com, encourages undergraduates to send explicit messages to each other to find a no-strings partner.

While 722 females at Oxford signed up in October, Cambridge has the fewest site members of any British university or college. The website was set up by Tom Thurlow after his success with www.DateAtUni.com.

‘We found that with the dating site, whilst some were looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend, many were just looking for sex,' said Mr Thurlow, 22.

Of course they are, they're either incredibly rich or incredibly smart Uni students. The stress they're under as a result must be insane, no wonder they're trying to eat the cream puff in the enchanted forest whenever they get the opportunity.

The post coital conversation must be amazing. Normally it's a case of asking "Was that ok?" or "Did all the biting put you off?!" but with an Oxford Uni student it would be more along the lines of, "Would you agree that at some point in future the computing complexity classes P and NP can be reconciled?" and "Is it fair to assert that Marxism wasn't entirely reliant on the dictatorship of the proletariate?"

I guess the smarter you are the more horny you are, that rule certainly applied to Einstein, he was a massive poon hound. That in turn means that Cambridge produces real dummies. I'm looking at you David Attenborough, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Paxman, Douglas Adams and Charles Darwin, you're all dumbasses.

Source: Newsrt

 

A sad way to go

Well folks it looks like one of the other websites I have been writing for recently isn't going to be continuing in it's current format.

While I've tried to write as many articles as my life would allow me to, it just wasn't possible to continue the article side of the site with so few people contributing on a regular basis. I will miss writing articles (and being able to take the piss out of more mainstream fodder) for Colm and his crew of wonderful, laid back Irish folk.

As a kind of thank you to those lovely people I'm going to include an opinion piece I wrote for the website on the films you love and how you shouldn't let anyone force their own opinion on perceived great films on you. It was nice to have the freedom to be allowed to write a piece like this on someone else's site. So here it is, "Subjectivity And The Films You Love":

 

"The funny thing about writing opinion pieces is a lot of the time the subject just comes to you out of the blue. It might happen when you accidentally overhear someone’s conversation, when you read about something that gets you thinking or maybe when you walk past something that catches your eye.

This piece is being written largely thanks to a book I saw in Waterstones that had – in my opinion anyway – such a divisive title it actually moved me to Tweet about it out of a mixture of confusion and rage! “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die”. Pretty straight forward really, and very similar to other books that are already out there, but it’s the “You Must See Before You Die” bit that got my attention.

Why must I read your suggestions before I die? Is there a killer virus lurking in the air and the only way to immunise myself against it is to read your colossal list? Or is your book so epoch making that it would be a far better use of my time than exercising, eating, writing or spending time with my loved ones?

It’s a ridiculous title for a book written about something which is completely subjective. I can sing the praises of The Dark Knight, La Haine or The Lady Killers until I’m blue in the face, but my soapboxing is highly unlikely to convince anyone to roll over and agree that these films are great. They really have to come to that conclusion themselves.

That brings me neatly to the slightly odd and confusing picture at the top of this article, taken from the film Manos’ The Hands of Fate. According to the good people at IMDB, ”Manos” is the 4th worst film of all time.

It really is that bad to: loads of shots are out of focus, the script is terrible, the sound quality is really poor even by 1966 standards and the first act is essentially an annoying family driving through the mountains to boring music. The film is absolutely pants…and I love it.

Do you know why I love it? Because the version I have is a re-edited copy from the geniuses behind cult American Sci-Fi series Mystery Science Theatre 3000. For the uninitiated, MST3K is about a guy who is shot into space by his evil employers and forced to watch terrible films for their amusement.

To combat loneliness he builds several robot friends who sit with him in front of the screen talking over the films, imitating the voices of the actors, randomly singing and basically turning the worst films you will ever see into some of the funniest television in recorded history.

Do you think that film or any of the hundreds re-edited by MST3K made it on to the list of “1001 Films You Must See Before You Die”? Of course they didn’t. But I enjoyed the MST3K version of Manos – and their brilliant version of Mitchell – far more than Battleship Potemkin, Metropolis or any number of the boring/high brow films on that list. I’ve studied films for years and it always used to annoy me when pseudo intellectual people told me that there was a brilliant film I had to see because it would change my life.

Films rarely change lives. They can move people and even improve their lives but your average person is highly unlikely to uproot and relocate to Paris and become a vacuous, self-obsessed murderer because they watched À bout de souffle. What I’m really trying to say is; don’t let reviews, people’s opinions or various third party sources sway you on whatever your favourite films are. What’s really important is how they affect you, not anybody else, just you. Sometimes the worst films ever made end up becoming the best things you’ve ever seen."

 

Either way an ass is getting elected

This has been a crazy month. First I get ill for the second time this year (a rarity as I'm usually never ill) then I write a story I thought I never would; a piece about a shambolic election.

We really are entering uncharted territory here. It's not like I don't have opinions on politics and things of that nature, it's just that I really couldn't give two shits about the overall scheme of things because nothing I say or do (including voting or protesting) is going to make a blind bit of difference.

We live in a world where things are set in motion for us, all we can really do is migrate from plan to plan and accept what we're given after putting in a certain amount of effort.

It would take a political giant like a Churchill or a Bevan or a Lloyd George to really change things at this point...maybe this guy is just the man for the job!

A donkey with a passion for politics has been banned from running in Ecuador's local council elections after officials ruled it was an insult to the opposition.

While the candidate may look like a bit of a jackass, he is hugely popular with voters - who have been campaigning to get him elected in the city of Guayaquil.

Up to 40 campaigners paraded through the streets of Ecuador's biggest city this week to the electoral council offices ahead of the vote. The four-legged mammal, who has been given the inventive nickname 'Mr Donkey', was dressed in a smart tie as he led his drum-banging supporters through the city.

Despite voters superimposing the animal's head on a man in a mock registration card, the donkey was refused entry to the building. Speaking to a local TV station, donkey backer Daniel Molina said the group's goal was to highlight voters' attention to the seriousness of the election and not to insult any party.

Is there any funnier phrase in the English language than 'Donkey Backer?' If it were a profession you'd get some of the weirdest applications of all time! "So what qualifies you for this position?", "Erm...I starred in Equus!?"

It's interesting that they would immediately go on the defensive when accused of taking the piss. Why not just come out and admit it? Yes, You're taking the piss, but does that make your candidate any less valid than Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse "The Body" Ventura or Neil Hamilton? Of course not. Go Mr Donkey! Also if you don't win we're going to use you as the base for a load of Haribo sweets. Hooray for Democracy!

Source: Metro

 

And the winner is...nobody!

When I started this site I specifically stated that I would, "only write about surprising stories. If it's weird, odd, funny or something that I can take this piss out of it'll be here."

Along with that I also sort of promised to never write about politics or elections and other boring shit of that nature. Fortunately, on this occasion, politics, elections and "something that I can take this piss out of" happen to be one and the same thing! Hooray for morons!

Several former police officers have beaten party candidates in the first-ever elections for crime commissioners in England and Wales.

Voter turnout was historically low, leading the Electoral Commission to describe it as "a concern for everyone who cares about democracy".

David Cameron said low turnout in a first-time election was expected. With nearly all ballots counted, turnout was about 14.5%, the BBC research showed. "It takes time to explain a new post," the prime minister said, and he predicted voting numbers would be "much higher next time round."

Of course they will be Dave, it's just people were confused is all. Poor simple folk, it must be very difficult deciding what to do with that pencil and what all those strange boxes were for on that confusing white thing made out of trees. If only we'd all gone to Eton and become members of a Masonic Lodge, then maybe we'd know what to do with this new fangled thing called Democracy.

The other reasons that could explain why this election turned into such a colossal (and hilarious) fuck up are A. Not enough was done to let people know about the elections and what each individual candidate's agenda was. B. People didn't think it was appropriate to vote for a police commissioner who represented a political party. C. They just didn't give a shit who got voted in because nothing will change or D. All of the above.

To really put this into perspective for you; the lowest voter turnout in the UK before this (since records began) was a London Metropolitan Election. The figure that time, was 28%. Double the number that voted today.

In ancient Athenian society "Idiots" (ἰδιώτης) were people who were "so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning". Declining to take part in public life, such as democratic government of the polis (city state). To ancient Greeks "Idiots" were essentially people who didn't vote. Today the definition of that word changed, now the only true idiots are the people who came up with this idea in the first place. Either that or there are 51 million idiots in this country. Which sounds more plausible to you?

Source: BBC and Wikipedia

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #23: The Drunk Edition

Aren't you a lucky bunch! Yet another edition of Inconsiderate Travellers! This one is the third in a series of photographs I took on my trips to and from Bristol last week. The person featured in the 23rd installment is one of the more problematic examples I've ever come across.

I noticed him on a leg of the journey which wasn't especially busy (when compared to the insanity of the North Wales - Newport train) but it definitely had the potential to get busier as we approached Chester, which is where the usual gaggle of Cheshire Set slaves pile on the train to escape their jobs for 12 hours.

So, Mr. Nose Picker over there (even though, thanks to The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger, it looks like he's scratching his ear) was not only being selfish by putting his bag on the seat next to him (instead of overhead) but he was also being selfish by getting blind, stinking drunk.

Yes he was hammered; there were 8 empty cans of lager on the table in front of him and a very distinctive smell began wafting from his general vicinity whenever he coughed.

The aroma was so pungent that the guy sitting opposite him woke up from his sleep, sat in the contaminated area for a couple of minutes, then got up and walked away. Presumably to talk to God down the big white telephone.

At first I thought that this was the worst example of Inconsiderate Travellers I'd ever seen, but on closer inspection it's actually quite sad. This guy is getting drunk, burping, picking his nose and blocking seats with his luggage, all in full view of total strangers.

His behaviour goes beyond narcissism or plain arrogance, it's almost symptomatic of someone who is completely unaware that what they're doing is gross/inappropriate. If that is the case then this guy can be excused for his transgressions, he's not to blame for his behaviour, his parents are.

That means that the lazy Virgin employee blocking the seat next to her with her luggage and then falling asleep (Inconsiderate Travellers #7) remains my number 1 Inconsiderate Traveller. She could be there for some time!

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #21 & #22

Hi folks, sorry for taking so long to update the site (well two days isn't that long) but I had a massive bout of the lurgy which has had me feeling quite sorry for myself over the last 48 hours. Fortunately it's on its way out now so I am going to fill you in on all the cool Inconsiderate Travellers you've missed, one of whom could be the person who gave me this cold in the first place. Cheeky bastards.

So, we begin with this young lady. She's assumed the classic position of putting a small bag on the seat next to her (even though there was plenty of room in the overhead compartment) so that no one else can sit there. She avoided the usual technique of putting the bag on the window seat, thereby making it doubly unlikely that someone will ask her to move it.

Maybe this suggests a slight psycopathic tendency on her part; maybe she's inviting confrontation because it's what she lives for. Yes indeed, this woman is a dangerous person all right, it's a damn good thing The Floating Head of Henry Kissingerwas here to protect her identity, otherwise people might sling wild accusations at this poor deranged woman.

On a serious note I should point out that this instance of selfishness was made all the worse by the sheer fact that the train was insanely busy. Arriva, in all their wisdom decided that, even though there were International Rugby fixtures in Cardiff that weekend, 2 carriages were more than enough to transport every rugby fan from North to South Wales.

I later found out that there should have been 3 carriages on the train (someone screwed up big time there) but even that wouldn't have been anywhere near enough. There are 300,000 living in North Wales, do you seriously think 3 carriages is enough to COMFORTABLY transport every paying supporter that uses public transportation down South? Not on your life buddy.

Moving away from the bitching we find the second entry in this edition of Inconsiderate Travellers. This might look like some sort of artsy photograph that's been set up with neat lighting and posed models but I promise you it was taken by an idiot on a shitty train.

The person with their face concealed by The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger isn't actually the person committing this particular offence. Although she is just as culpable for not putting her colleague (sitting opposite her) in her place.

Amazingly I got a bit of an insight into this particular Inconsiderate Traveller. It turns out that the perpetrator of this heinous act was someone who spends most of their day dealing with complaints for a phone company.

She also seems to while away the hours on her long train journey bitching about said complaints to her mate, the whole time completely oblivious to the poor sods standing in the doorway desperate for a seat to sit on.

This continued until I left the sweatbox of a train at Crewe where I managed to board a really quiet train which was only populated by polite/sleepy passengers.

I can only hope assume that after I got off the train this woman was confronted by the train manager, refused to move her stuff and was arrested at the next stop by 15 heavily armed British Transport police after a tense, 8 hour stand-off caused by her holding a complementary magazine to her throat. Paper cuts can be lethal you know.

 

 

Holiday, oh, holiday

Sorry for not posting yesterday, but I was kidnapped by aliens who took me on board their vessel, sat me down, and explained that the U.S. General Election was just a great big smoke screen to divert attention away from their efforts to take out Bradley Wiggins without anyone noticing...or maybe I was just really sleepy.

Either way I'm sorry. Unfortunately I also have to apologise in advance as I won't be posting on here tomorrow either. It turns out I enjoyed Bristol and it's people so much I've decided to go back for the weekend, which starts on Friday when I board a train which takes a mere four and a half hours to go 170 miles. Isn't the modern world amazing?!

So to keep you entertained over the weekend I'm going to leave you with the trailer for the new Arnold Schwarzenegger film The Last Stand which co-stars Johnny Knoxville, Luis Guzman and Forest Whitaker. It looks brilliant in a stupid way! Enjoy!

 

Yes! Confederacy forever!

Wow! Look at that pretty village! Isn't it lovely!? Reminds me of my home in Wales to a certain extent; beautiful countryside, great views, tranquility. Yes sir, it really is like a slightly bleak paradise.

That is of course until the local land owner comes around to your house demanding his rent at gun point. He just looks so evil standing there, twirling his villainous moustache as he glares menacingly your flock of sheep.

He's a villain alright, and the local people won't be free to live their quaint lives of simplicity until he is removed from this island once and for all!

We must stand and fight this terrible wretch until the last ounce of his spirit has departed these lands forever! So strike the torches, gather your pitchforks and let us show the world that we are a people united as one in the face of tyranny...and a declining education system.

Islanders are voting on whether to take over the running of Scalpay, off Harris.

The laird, English businessman Fred Taylor, has offered inhabitants the island for free. Three hundred people are eligible to vote on whether to go it alone, or go into partnership with the North Harris Community Trust.

The poll will close at 16:00 and the votes will be counted at Scalpay Community Hall from 19:30. Island minister, the Reverend Kenny Macdonald of the Free Church Continuing, said there was a mood of change on Scalpay. He said: "I think the mood is that something needs to be done and, for the good of the island, I don't think anybody would argue with that.

"People will have different views as to the best way forward." The island's population has fallen by half since the 1970s and 80s and its primary school closed in June after the roll fell to four. Paul Finnegan, of Scalpay Community Land Buyout Steering Group, said there were plans for the school building.

He said: "One suggestion that has come forward is using it for business units for small craft workshops.

That suggestion would be the one that has come from the 3 people left living on the island then? I've done a little bit of research into Scalpay and it's actually a really nice looking place but, according to the always 100% accurate people at Wikipedia, the island, "...used to have over 10 shops 30 years ago but due to lack of people and work, the last remaining shop closed in 2007" No. Fucking. Shops.

Fortunately it's connected by bridge to the massive island of Harris (13 miles long and 8 miles wide) which, with a population approaching 2000 people, must feel like a bustling metropolis in comparison to Scalpay. It also has a tweed shop and a grocery store! Oh Harris, you do spoil us!

All things considered, if these poor deprived people want their independence I say let them have it! It's not like they're going to go mad and build casinos, safari parks and secret hillside missile silos that could be used to hold the free world to ransom or anything. All you have to worry about is the occasional overly religious Bobby getting burned to death inside a giant wicker man. Nothing to worry about really is it?

Source: BBC

 

Better late than never

Unlike Ornithophobics and most Londoners I have absolutely nothing against the common pigeon. I find them cute, endearing and brilliant physical comedians, especially when they end up walking in random directions along a busy street.

When compared with that unhinged psycho of the bird world, the Seagull, pigeons are harmless little things that only want to eat your crumbs, make baby pigeons and occasionally poop on a poshly dressed person's head.

They're also far more useful than most birds. You can race them, eat them (if you've run out of cats) and even use them to deliver messages. Soldiers were using the fluffy little beggars as a postal service right up until the end of WWII, if only Skype had got their act together sooner aye?

Although some were slightly better at delivering messages than others.

A secret coded message dating back to World War II has been discovered on the remains of a carrier pigeon.

The wartime bird was found down a chimney in Surrey with a red capsule containing the code attached to one of its leg bones. It was found by former probation officer David Martin, who was in the middle of restoring his fireplace.

Experts believe that the bird was on its way to Bletchley Park, just 80 miles from Mr Martin's house, where the Nazi's enigma code was cracked during the war. The inky scribbles are now to come under surveillance from the Government Communications Headquarters in Cheltenham, which hopes to unlock the secrets of its meaning.

Yes, I wonder what secrets this message holds? Maybe it'll be the mysterious code we can use to finally defeat the Nazis once and for all...oh no wait, we did that 60 FUCKING YEARS AGO! Who cares what's written on the thing!? Unless it's an amazing new recipe for pigeon pie they might as well burn it.

The biggest mystery is why this guy's chimney hasn't been swept in nearly 60 years. He's lucky they didn't find more dead stuff up there like Jimmy Hoffa, Shergar or George Lucas' common sense. Only $4 billion for Star Wars? Have you lost the plot George?!

Source: Metro

Oh yeah! Dig it!

I know I've put a lot of videos on here recently but I've been very lucky with the sheer amount of quality footage popping up on the internet, so why not let the videos do the talking? It has nothing to with my general demeanor of laziness and lethargy, oh no sir.

This video however might be my favourite of the lot! More fun than a guy jet skiing through the hurricane damaged streets of New Jersey? Yes. Cooler than a Halloween house decorated with lights that perfectly sync up to Gagnam Style? Oh my yes. More exciting than the Iron Man 3 trailer? umm...no, but still bloody exciting!

I've already sung their praises on Twitter but these guys are so good and so under-recognised that I felt moved enough to promote them on this site as well. So here's the skinny: OSW (Old School Wrestling) Review has been the entertainment highlight of my year (suck on that Dark Knight Rises).

I know not everyone is as big a wrestling nerd as me, but if you appreciate anything that is produced to such an incredibly high standard by 3 friends who have amazing chemistry then this is worth a look. I promise you won't be sorry.

If it makes you laugh then please download some of the videos/podcasts from iTunes, visit their Facebook page (which includes all their videos) and for God's sake spread the word, because it's just criminal that some of these videos have less than 1000 views. There are some people on YouTube who only have to shake their arses on camera or act like annoying little bastards to get hundreds of thousands of views. These guys deserve better! Now sit back and enjoy.

 

Because there's more to life than hyperbole, picking sides and calling yourself the 7th Python when all you really are is a numbers man.
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