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Wrestling Breakwrestling-ring-preston-city-wrestling

Look at that chandelier, isn't it huge and opulent?! It wouldn't look out of place in a Palace, stately home or Elton John fundraiser, but this is none of those things (especially that last one), this is Preston City Wrestling.

The first time I went to a PCW show I was mightily impressed. Not only was it bloody good fun but it was also damn good value for money at just £8 per ticket. The card itself was a good mixture of international stars, veterans, up and comers and the cream of independent British talent.

By the end of the night I was convinced it was the best rounded evening of wrestling I'd ever seen (and the 2nd best live wrestling show I'd ever seen).

This month's shows promise to be just as varied and interesting thanks to the usual collection of talented British guys like Joey Hayes, Kris Travis, Dave Mastiff, Sam Bailey, El Ligero, Noam Dar and Zack Sabre Jr working alongside American imports Lita, The Steiner Brothers, Goldust, Chris Masters, Shelton Benjamin and British legends Doug Williams and Nigel McGuinness.

I'll be attending at least 2 shows, one on Friday night and another on Saturday night (I may even take in the Saturday afternoon show) and my attendance of the shows might lead to a Podcast/Vodcast of some sort featuring me and my partner in Wrestling based shenanigans Dan Strike Giant Slayercopyright-symbol-logo-icon.

If any of you are attending the shows in Preston drop me a tweet and say hi and I'll probably be kind enough to sign whatever autographable material you have on you, although I will not sign your breasts because the majority of wrestling fans are guys and felt tip pens don't work so well when combined with thick chest hair.



First an asteroid now this?north-wales-earthquake

Some powerful phenomena controlling being must have it in for me. First an asteroid is flung in the general direction of earth and then this happens.

Seriously, do you think there's some evil super villain out there with the ability to mess with my life? Or maybe a rich genius who's decided to worry me with Earthquakes and Asteroids?

It's possible, my money's on Thanos, Lex Luther or Richard Branson, with the amount of times I've slagged off Virgin Trains he's got to be the prime suspect.

An earthquake close to North Wales has been felt more than 100 miles (160km) away by people who reported "intense shaking".

The epicentre of the earthquake in the Irish Sea was about nine miles away from the town of Abersoch, Gwynedd, and had a magnitude of 3.8, the British Geological Survey (BGS) said.

The quake happened at about 4.15am on Wednesday and was felt as far away as Southport in Merseyside, Dublin and the Irish counties of Donegal, Kerry and Galway.

More than 100 reports from people who felt the earthquake have been made to the BGS, who said the majority were within a 60-mile radius.

"This was a larger-than-average earthquake. We get around one a year of this size. People have reported hearing an initial loud banging, followed by rumbling and intense shaking."

The Irish National Seismic Network (INSN) said further tremors were likely in the coming days in the Irish Sea and north Wales.

3.8, while not exactly a city leveller, is still a reasonable shaking. Apparently we had a massive(ish) quake in 1984; my parents and I were having dinner at the time when the whole house shook and moved the powerline to the garage slightly...then it stopped and we all went back to shovelling chicken in our mouths. Quite a scary story isn't it! God knows how we recovered from such a traumatising experience.

If you're wondering how this life altering experience affected me take a look at my activities for last night:

11pm: Go to bed, man I hope I can sleep tonight.

Midnight: This DVD is jumping all over the place, maybe I should read for a bit.




4am: ZZZZZZZZ...What the fuck was that? Huh, must have been nothing...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


As you can see the event has really changed me, I don't think I'll ever get those 30 seconds of missed sleep back. Curse you Richard Branson!


Source: The Guardian


Nice holiday? Good, now we're all doomed!asteroid-impact-earth

Oh it was a lovely Bank Holiday wasn't it?! It was for me anyway, I was lucky enough to experience lots of sunshine, beautiful countryside and even managed to avoid the masses of traffic by taking the most amazing scenic route you could imagine.

I ate well, relaxed and generally enjoyed the extra 24 hours of freedom, it was a really special time.

Then I sat down today only to realise that all the wonderful holiday time I'd just enjoyed was about to be ruined by some giant icy stone flying through space heading straight for my house. Where's Ben Affleck when you need him huh?

An asteroid about the same size as the Golden Gate Bridge, or nine Queen Elizabeth 2 ships, will zip past Earth this week.

The close encounter with asteroid 1998 QE2 takes place at 9.59pm UK time on Friday.

But don’t be too nervous – it will be 3.6million miles away, about 15 times the distance between the Earth and the Moon.

‘We know with great certainty it won’t hit us,’ said Nasa expert Amy Mianzer.

Colleague Lance Benner of the US space agency’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory added: ‘Whenever an asteroid approaches this closely, it provides an important scientific opportunity to study it in detail to understand its size, shape, rotation, surface features, and what they can tell us about its origin.’

Last month Nasa announced plans to capture a small astroid and ‘store’ it near the Moon in order for astronauts to explore.

The $100million project (£65million) aims to double up as a training resource for Mars-bound astronauts in the future and as a means of developing the ability to push away asteroids heading for Earth.

Oh OK, maybe I overreacted. So it's a long long way from hitting us? That's fine, I was thinking of planting some vegetables this week I would hate for that to have been a waste. Did you notice the portion of this story that talked about the size of this thing? Those are some pretty odd units of measurement.

I've often heard people using universally recognised symbols as a way of comparing the dimensions of something unusual; Kevin Smith regularly asks his cohost Ralph Garman how big things are compared to the size of the shark in Jaws, this however is an entirely new way of measuring objects. If we go round comparing things to the size of the Golden Gate Bridge or several large royal cruise ships get ready to use a lot of fractions in your everyday conversations. That's certainly not something I'm comfortable with, I bloody hate fractions.

On the plus side I really like the idea of grabbing a passing asteroid and using it as a base of experiments. That could lead to important scientific breakthroughs in the study of the origins of life on earth, the source of all the water on earth and whether or not Spider-Man can really defeat an alien symbiote that has come to earth on the back pack of a rock collecting nerd.


Source: Metro


Bank Holiday Holidaycrazy-chinese-woman-living-in-a-tree

So it's that rare time of year in the UK again when we all get a few extra hours off from the drudgery of wage slavery.

As a result of this wonderful gift I've decided to enjoy myself and stay in a totally different bed to the one I normally sleep in. Adventurous aren't I?!

The place I'll be staying in is green and en-suite, somewhat like the house this Chinese woman/Lucius Malfoy lookalike is staying in...well, she was staying in it until an officer of the law climbed up to her with a taser and brought her down to earth the hard way.

Thankfully my weekend will be filled with fun, none tasering activities that generally include a lot of travelling and frivolity.

So enjoy your extended time of freedom people of the UK (sorry everyone else) and check back here on Monday night for some sort of update, possibly using some sort of Bank Holiday themed story about a man who spent the weekend rubbing himself in mushy peas and demanding people call him the Jolly Green Giant. That'll probably happen.



Sequel timeanchorman-2-the-legend-continues

Most of the time sequels annoy the hell out of me. They're bloated, unoriginal and, worst of all, desperate.

They're in such a rush to get your money and keep you coming back for more that they'll resort to the most ridiculous tricks to ensure you're hooked.

Remember the 2nd Matrix film which ended with Keanu Reeves somehow harnessing his Matrix skills to zap a sentinel in the real world?

Quite the tease when you think about it, they seemed to be hinting that he was an alien or super human of some sort.

The upshot was the people who had been annoyed by the rest of the film came back to watch the final installment to see what the deal with that was.

Annoyingly the Wachowski's never did explain what the whole Dr. Doom impression was all about, which meant that The Matrix Reloaded was nothing more than a way to show the world Laurence Fishburne's cave raving skills. As a result of that betrayal I no longer get my hopes up for sequels anymore...except this one. It's Anchorman 2 people!



No, being a baby sitter doesn't count as a full-time jobbad-cv-worst-terrible

I've worked in many jobs over the years and I feel the reason I usually get what I apply for is because I'm awesome at interviews. I ace those because I'm articulate, honest and, let's face it, the most handsome man on the planet.

Being good at the face to face thing is all well and good, but you have to have a good enough CV to get you to that stage in the first place. Having been a manager in the past I've seen various levels of job applications and CV's, ranging from pretty impressive to shockingly poor.

Some of the bad CV's have stayed with me for years purely because they were so hilarious. One indicated his hobbies were watching TV and eating junk food, another claimed to have worked closely with Alan Sugar AND Richard Branson on large construction projects (said applicant was going for a Christmas Temp position at HMV) and one even submitted a hand written CV.

Those are all pretty extreme examples of Curriculum Vitae's being about as helpful as sandpaper loo roll, but they seem even worse when you realise the do's and don'ts of CV building are all over the internet these days.

Thankfully I'm here to round them all up and slap them on my website so no one ever has hand me another terrible CV again. Please, for the love of God, read and take heed!

The following CV mistakes were luckily only the most unusual ones. When asked to share examples of the most unusual CVs they have come across when searching for job applicants, employers in Europe and the US reported the following:

I want this job!
The only words written on the CV were the candidate's name and phone number and the phrase "I want a job."

Who does not love beer?
16 per cent of UK employers listed CVs with an unprofessional email address as a turn-off. That's why this candidate may not be contacted at all. His email had "lovesbeer" in it.

Wild hobby
The more unusual your hobbies, the more interesting you are as a candidate? One applicant listed "lion tamer" as one of his hobbies.

Previous employer: It's a secret!
The candidate included mystery shopper under her experience, but didn't reveal the name of the employer because "it's a secret."

Exaggerated work experience
It's always good to have a great amount of work experience. But a candidate from the US may have exaggerated slightly. He listed "Master of Time and Universe" under his experience.

Poetic CV
Applicants for creative professions often like to send unusual CVs. But don't overdo it, like one candidate did: His CV was written in rhyme.

And who are you?
The candidate's photograph on the CV didn't match the person the hiring manager spoke with on Skype (different ethnicity).

CV on a torn out page
Your CV should always offer an impeccable appearance. This CV did not fulfill this requirement as it was written on a page torn out from an exercise book.

Unusual reference
How is the potential future employer supposed to call this guy up? The candidate put God down as a reference, but he provided no phone number.

I'm a Viking!
This candidate seems to be proud of his ancestry. He claimed to be a direct descendant of the Vikings.

I like to think that last one was a threat. When someone says they're a Viking on their CV it's probably a polite way of saying, "Give me this fucking job or I'll start throwing axes at you". That person moves to the front of the interview queue in my book. Besides it's always useful having a Viking around, have you seen those guys pillage? If you get an awkward customer or a shoplifter let him handle it, they'll soon acquiesce to the stores terms and conditions.

I'm glad I've put this on here because it's also been a useful exercise for me. After all it might be quite intimidating for some employers to know that one of my current jobs is as the International Head of Spectre. I think I'll safe that one for the interview.


Source: MSN via CareerBuilder


Let's (not) Play Nintendodonald-trump-american-dad-nintendo-parody-lets-play-youtube

Rage. Such amazing rage. Rage so intense I'm finding it hard to contain myself. One of my boyhood past times ruined forever. Before I get into it here's the statement that's made me so angry,

Nintendo will profit from videos uploaded by fans that feature its games, the company has confirmed.

Clips posted to YouTube will now display advertising, with income going directly to the Japanese gaming giant.

Some fans have reacted angrily, saying they would no longer play the Nintendo titles, nor upload more clips.

In a statement, the firm said the move was part of an "on-going push to ensure Nintendo content is shared across social media".

"We continually want our fans to enjoy sharing Nintendo content on YouTube," the company added.

"That is why, unlike other entertainment companies, we have chosen not to block people using our intellectual property."

Many games fans enjoy uploading footage of themselves playing popular titles.

Often, these clips - referred to as "Let's Play" (LP) - show how to complete difficult sections, or show off the advanced skills of the gamer.

I'm going to try and keep this brief since every Tom, Dick, Harry and multiple other dicks have had their say on the situation already. First of all let me start this by saying Nintendo is as deeply ingrained in my childhood as Wrestling, He-Man and Spider-Man so it makes me very sad to say that I now have to boycott them for the rest of their existence.

Forget demos, charts, (often paid for) reviews or product placement, Let's Play videos online are the second best way of encouraging people to buy a certain computer game behind only very expensive advertising campaigns. The best part about them is they're completely free, cost nothing for the companies to produce and, best of all, are made out of love for the game which gives them instant kudos with other gamers.

To try and take the profits away from the people who put a lot of time and effort into making these free adverts for your products is the lowest thing you could possibly do. Even if you announced plans to profit share with LP'ers I'd still be pissed off, but at least you'd have thought your decision through before alienating millions of potential customers with what can only be described as a lesson in how not to conduct PR.

Let's use the Mark Zuckerberg approach to this issue. Imagine you buy a chair from a company and feature it in a video which is basically you going, "Oh look at my new DFS chair, isn't it lovely?! Look how comfy it is! It feels so good on my botty! Lovely, lovely lovely! Chair, chair, chair!" And your video gets 200,000 views (unlikely I know but go with it), resulting in you getting a cut from the advertising.

Now what do you think the chances of DFS coming after you for a cut of that advertising revenue are? Zero, that's how much, because (hopefully) they're smart enough to realise that not only do you own said chair but you're giving them free advertising. It's basic common sense. Also real viral campaigns are as precious as diamonds these days, to interfere with the process is marketing madness.

And to all the people out there who are saying "Well let's players deserve it, they're pathetic..." etc or "YouTube has warned you about this in the terms for years" I'd just like to say fuck you you pathetic hyenas. Yes YouTube set that out in its terms, but if you think that was for any other reason than to avoid becoming the new Napster you're wrong.

YouTube are owned by Google now who are basically in competition with everyone, and if Google can't make more money from advertising they certainly don't care if users do. I'm not even going to respond to the first lot because they don't have a dog in this fight so they can go troll off somewhere else.

The fact of the matter is Copyright law is out of control and way too slanted in the favour of large companies. It seems they now have carte blanche to act however they want even if it hurts business in the long run (which it surely will do in this case once the short term gains from advertising disappear). Nintendo are circling the drain as it is, but when people look back at the history of the company and try to find moments where they acted in a way that hastened their demise this might be one of those moments.

A plague o' both your houses.


Source: BBC


Year of the Sci-figravity-movie-poster

Yay Superman! Yay Star Trek! Yay...Smurfs 2! It's all Sci-fi all summer long! Short of lower temperatures and a bit of snow that's my idea of a perfect summer. Now I've already seen Star trek Into Darkness and, apart from one scene where I wanted to tear my hair out because of loads of cliche ridden bullshit, I really enjoyed it.

I'm all but certain that Man of Steel will be decent as well (and finally make the kind of money Superman films have been desperate to make for decades) which should pave the way for a cracking JLA film and various other spin off franchises.

However there are slightly lesser known Sci-fi films coming out this year (after the blockbusters have been put out to pasture) that deserve our attention as well. Films like Elysium, The Purge and this one here, Gravity.

Gravity looks like a really bloody expensive sequel to Solaris at first, what with Clooney handsoming the place up and Sandy B hiding behind her visor, making it virtually impossible to tell if she's actually in this movie or not. But then shit just gets real.

All sorts of things start to go wrong with the International Space Station launching our two intrepid astronauts into the abyss where they appear to be drifting dangerously close to...well nothing really, that's what most of space is isn't it. It's kind of like Rhyl only slightly bigger.

So in conclusion it appears to be a beautiful Sci-fi disaster film that has more in common with 127 Hours and The Life of Pi than 2001: A Space Odyssey or Star Trek.

As usual the trailer is below, If you enjoy it please go along, we need to support this new decent Sci-fi disaster film genre, if we don't Roland Emmerich might make another film that pisses me right off. Please, do it for me.





Coke headcoke-bottles

What's in Coke? It must be something pretty addictive as it's become the third most successful drink in recorded history behind only bottled water and Dandelion and Burdock.

If I had to hazard a guess at its contents I'd suggest the list of ingredients went a little something like this:

In order of amount:

Sugar, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Heroin, Nicotine, More Sugar, Syrup, Honey, Salt, Misery, Sulfuric Acid, Lots More Sugar, E445, E3453, E, The Tears Of A Humble Weaver, Dolphin Brains, A Different Kind Of Sugar and, finally, Water.

While that's a pretty accurate list we no longer have to guess because some lucky sod has found an ancient parchment with the secret ingredients written on it and, like any normal person, he's selling it to the highest bidder. Good on you mate!

A US man claims to have found the secret recipe to Coca Cola.

Cliff Kluge, who describes himself as an avid buyer and seller of antiques, purchased an old box of letters from an estate. While rifling through the contents, he discovered a piece of paper that he claims contains one of the business world's most closely kept secrets.

Kluge promptly placed the recipe on eBay with an initial bid price of $5 million (£3.3m). Alternately, punters can avoid all the pesky haggling and buy it outright for $15 million (£9.8m).

But it's not about cashing in, apparently. Kluge told Atlanta's WXIA station: "It's just excitement," he says. "It's an Easter egg hunt, looking for eggs out there. And when you come up with something like this, it's Christmas."

An archivist for Coca-Cola told the station that he believes the recipe is merely a formula for a "cola-type drink", rather than Coca-Cola.

Kluge's auction has yet to receive a single bid.

Don't be such cynics MSN, what if this is real? If you buy his recipe you could recreate this drink yourself, sell it to the masses and make a fortune...before Coke sue you into the ground and you end up living on the streets in a cardboard box. Or you could always brew it yourself at home and distribute it to all your friends and family...until Coke find out, sue you into the ground and you end up living on the streets in a slightly larger cardboard box.

Either way you slice it this document is useless. Even if it is an interesting read there's virtually no way of proving it's genuine. What do you think the chances are of Coke releasing a similar document to someone who wants to check its validity? Zero. They'd sooner give their secret recipe to Pepsi than to some possibly dishonest antique dealer who sees an unstable business like his as an Easter egg hunt. At least an Easter egg hunt ends in chocolatey goodness instead of a copyright lawsuit.


Source: MSN


She did a Bill Grundypaula-white-radio-presenter-drunk-on-air

While it might seem like an easy industry to succeed in (it really isn't) there are just certain things you mustn't do in the media industry.

The main ones are pretty obvious: don't rub your superiors up the wrong way, don't hold a grudge and don't blame everyone else for your failings, that's basically the same in any profession really.

But the media is such a political minefield that there are all sorts of other hidden rules that you have to abide by if you want to get ahead.

The lesser known ones are: always kiss ass subtly, don't be seen as two faced and don't be unhappy ever.

That last one is very important, if you're seen as unhappy at any point in your career you're in danger of either being demoted, fired or pulled off air.

Apparently Paula White was "sad" during her last afternoon show before being quietly shuffled off to a weekend slot for BBC Radio Stoke. What followed is described in rather odd fashion by the sometimes good people at The Guardian,

Age: Old enough to know better.

Appearance: Knows better. Does it anyway.

Hold up. Who? BBC Radio Stoke presenter Paula White.

Never heard of her. Is she famous? In Stoke? Not really. Elsewhere? Not at all.

But? But she's a lot more famous now than she was last Friday.

Oh dear. What happened last Friday? She got sloshed. At lunchtime. Just before she was due to go on air for her final show in a slot she had presented for six years.

Ah. And it didn't go well? Not great, no. She sluurrred her worrrdds so much it took about five minutes for a listener to text in about it. Which – in classic sozzled style – she denied, announcing on air: "I sound drunk. I'm not drunk. I've had a couple of drinks. I'm not drunk. I'm sad."

After which she sobered up and snapped out of it? If only. She then decided to rebel against her producers and do away with her playlist, telling listeners: "Let's just throw it all out! I don't get told what songs to – No, I do get told what songs to play! But I don't get told what songs to play on the last day of my shooooowww!"

Then she put a song on, downed a pint of water and got her act together? No, she then proceeded to fumble with the equipment, play a jingle instead of a song, and screech: "It's my last day and nothing's working! Why is nothing working? Nooooooo!"

Please tell me that was the end of it? That was the first half-hour of a three-hour show.

Oh sweet lord. But, mercifully, she was taken off air and replaced by a less well-lubricated colleague, with the explanation: "Paula is not feeling well with it being her last afternoon show and has gone home."

I love that classic attempt at an excuse. Whenever drunk people are questioned by police about how many pints they've had to drink they always say, "I've only had a couple of drinks!" As if the people who make decisions about your ability to continue what you're doing are going to be reassured by the fact you stopped at two.

Imagine if you found out that your pilot had downed two shots before flying you and 300 other people over hugely populated cities, you'd lose it, and you'd be right to. Imagine if you found out the guy who gave you your meal at McDonalds was drunk, you'd be shocked right? Well not really, the poor bastard does work at McDonalds. It's probably best he numbs the pain and disappointment of that with booze.

As far as Paula White is concerned it's highly likely that she'll be kept off air for a few weeks and told to get her act together before she comes back to her new slot. I would imagine the opening segment of her weekend show will be devoted to apologising/grovelling in a vain attempt at recapturing her audience. I wish her the best because once you fuck up at this level it can be a career killer. That and I can't stand listening to/watching cringe-inducing stuff and I have to for my job so please lady, for the love of God, stop boozing on air. You're not an entertaining drunk.


Source: The Guardian and the massively drunk Paula White


Clear as Mudmud-film-poster

It's that time of the month again where I feature a trailer for a new, exciting film. This time I've avoided the plethora of blockbusters to show you all a trailer from a flick which won the Palme d'Or at Cannes this year.

I was initially sceptical of this one because it stars Matthew McConaughey, a performer who switches between being a strong actor and an annoying twat with such frequency that only lab team could keep track.

Also it's called Mud, which doesn't have the same ring to it as "Brick" or "Tron" or "The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel". Having said that bad films don't win Palme d'Or's so this must be at least half decent.

The trailer makes the story look interesting if not particularly spectacular; from what I can tell it's kind of like E.T. if E.T. had been a slightly weird southern gentleman with a dark past, bipolar girlfriend and a propensity for lying.

The film will probably make a ton of profit given it had a miniscule budget of $10 million and has two A-Listers attached (plus all the indie hype it's received). But the real point of a film like this is pushing its stars into the Oscar picture and, given the kind of reviews McConaughey's getting it wouldn't surprise me if he got an Oscar nod along with Witherspoon in a supporting role.

See what you make of it, the main thing I'm taking from this trailer is the only place you can safely walk with shoes that have nails in the soles is on the beach, anywhere else and you'll just ruin people's flooring.



Rambling justicelauryn-hill-mug-shot

When I first wrote about this situation nearly a year ago now I was expecting a little weirdness given how secretive Lauryn Hill had become, but I was more than a little stunned by how strange and Waco-ish this sequence of events sounded.

After it became public knowledge that Lauryn Hill would be going on trial over an unpaid tax bill (that made Nicolas Cage's spending habits look positively miserly in comparison) everyone was waiting for the usual press release from a trained representative giving Hill's side of the story.

What we got was this, "For the past several years, I have remained what others would consider underground,"

Umm...what? "I did this in order to build a community of people, like-minded in their desire for freedom and the right to pursue their goals and lives without being manipulated and controlled by a media protected military industrial complex with a completely different agenda."

It only went downhill from there, she started talking about a feeling surrounded by a climate of hostility, false entitlement, manipulation, racial prejudice, sexism and ageism in normal society.

Nowhere amongst this meandering bullshit was any hint that she refuted the claims made against her, which probably should have been an indication that some of it was true.

Well today was the final day of the trial and now this has happened,

US magistrate judge sentenced Grammy-winning hip hop artist Lauryn Hill to three months in prison, three months in home confinement and a $60,000 (€45,000) fine last year for federal tax evasion.

Hill pleaded guilty last year to three counts of failing to file tax returns on more than $1.8 million of income between 2005 and 2007 and faced up to three years in prison.

Pretty straight forward really, she got off light all things considered. If she'd just taken it on the chin and done her time no one would have been too bothered, but then she said this,

“I was put into a system I didn’t know the nature of,” the 37-year-old hip-hop diva said. “I’m a child of former slaves. I got into an economic paradigm and had that imposed on me.”

“I sold 50 million units now I’m up here paying a tax debt,” the Grammy winner and mother of six said. “If that’s not likened to slavery, I don’t know what is.”

You're absolutely right Lauryn, earning shit loads of money from one of the greatest and most high profile art forms in history is EXACTLY like slavery. Besides who am I to question her, she's a child of former slaves. I assume she's 140 years old and her parents (high school English teacher Valerie Hill and computer programmer Mal Hill) are around 165 years old, because there haven't been any slaves in New Jersey (her birth place) since January 1st 1863.

Or maybe, just maybe, this statement - like everything else Hill has said over the last year - is little more than the words of a deranged diva who doesn't know when she should scale back the rhetoric.

The good part of all this insanity is that Sony have struck a deal with Hill to record a follow up to her massively successful 1998 album "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" which sold 20 million copies worldwide. The deal was done quite soon after Sony decided to pay the $970,000 fine Hill had faced as a result of the trial. So we can expect an album full of songs about false entitlement, manipulation, racial prejudice, sexism, ageism and slavery/prison. She could call it "The Re-education of Lauryn Hill".


Source: The AP and New York Daily News


You're so Chile-ishadrian-chiles-ugly-fat-angry-miserable-sad-upset

For those Americans out there who visit my site on a regular basis I should probably bring you up to speed on what's going on here.

The potato faced orc on the right there is Adrian Chiles; a miserable TV presenter who has somehow become one of the highest paid names in the British media industry despite having very little talent and being about as warm as Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen body.

He became famous on the BBC's One Show by being his miserable self and making some of the crew laugh live on air. Apparently that's all it takes to get people to tune into BBC 1 these days.

After that gig launched him into the big time ITV offered him a golden handcuff deal worth £1 million ($1.5 million) a year to front their relaunched breakfast show Daybreak.

The executives at the UK's biggest middle of the road mainstream TV channel had decided that the most miserable and divisive man on Television was the ideal choice to wake people up in the morning. It doesn't take a genius to see the flaw in this plan.

Daybreak was a disaster of XFL proportions. The show's blend of fluff and bullshit was bad enough, but the added 'perk' of having it fronted by a fat, bleary eyed version of Gollum who approached every segment with the enthusiasm of a manically depressed death row inmate was too much for even the most diehard ITV fan to stomach. After just over 2 months the Chiles experiment was deemed a failure and the now exhausted midlander was quietly shuffled off to the side while ITV figured out what they could do with him and his enormous contract.

Thankfully his bosses saw sense and put him in the one place his dodgy banter and alienating personality wouldn't be that obvious: a football studio. Being the host of a football show is possibly the easiest job in television; you welcome viewers to the show/back from a break, quickly sum up the talking points of the game, introduce segments and pundits - who you hand off to whenever an opinion or some analysis is needed - and throw in the odd quip when required. It's so bloody easy a hairy ape barely able to say his own name could do it.

Not only is it easy it's also the closest thing to a job for life that you can get in the world of Television. True some people have screwed it up in the past by using horrific racist slurs or talking about women as if they were paying tribute to Bernard Manning, but generally people who get this role tend to keep it until they need a machine to assist their breathing.

I'm sure Chiles was aware of that when he took the job, which might explain what was going through his mind when he decided to blurt this out. Maybe he wanted to prove this unsackable theory once and for all, someone give him a Nobel prize!

ADRIAN Chiles has said ‘sorry’ to West Brom player Peter Odemwingie for calling him a ‘t**t’.

The ITV Sport host caused anger at the club’s annual awards bash when he quipped: “Our fourth award of the evening is for ‘tweet of the year’... Oh, no, sorry it’s ‘t**t of the year’ — and the winner is Peter Odemwingie.”

But his amusing joke failed to impress Baggies boss Steve Clarke who said it was "out of order" and "stupid".

Five days after the event, last Friday, Chiles, 46, personally called Nigerian Odemwingie to apologise for the remark, even though the striker wasn’t present at the awards bash.

Brummie Chiles, a lifelong West Brom fan, has been a season ticket holder at the Hawthorns for many years.

Odemwingie’s future at the club is looking increasingly precarious after he was fined two weeks’ wages for a series of attacks on the club on Twitter.

See, here's the thing: most people who work in the mainstream media at the top level either have years of experience or a huge amount of training behind them. Most of those people also have a decent level of intelligence. All of that begs the question how could someone with his level of experience and background make such an error in judgement? I think I know the answer to that one to: Ego.

With power of any sort comes ego, trust me I know; I have a pretty large ego, the good thing is I'm aware of it and try (most of the time) to keep it in check. I've even managed to deflate it since it hit its sociopathic zenith a few years ago, and I only managed to achieve that by spending years and years looking at myself and who I'd become.

Not many people spend that much time looking at themselves because they either don't have to (nice/happy go lucky people are out there) or because they don't want to. The latter group fool themselves into believing they're fine the way they are and can just carry on the way they always have. I don't want to say Chiles belongs to that group but the evidence is pretty strong.

Maybe he'll choose his words a little bit better next time, maybe he'll start smiling and being more positive from now on, we just don't know what will happen with this guy. Stranger things have happened, remember when John McEnroe used to be really surly and Chris Brown was the kind of guy who would lose his shit whenever someone didn't do what he ordered them to do? Well they've changed their ways and become...oh wait, never mind.


Source: The Sun


Chilli pepper spraychilli-sauce-bottle-funny-parody

Oh god this heat! I can't take it, it's only 16 degrees and I'm already struggling to cope with everyday life. I'm a Celt, we only really like two types of weather conditions: Cold and slightly colder.

I'd probably be very happy living in Norway, Siberia or Narnia but if I had to live somewhere that was warm, sunny and generally pleasant all year round I think I'd lose my freaking mind.

Nobody ever went on a rampage from being too cold, they just tend to, you know, die. Whereas heat can have all sorts of funny effects on the brain, effects that would certainly explain this guy's behaviour, well, that and the fact that he's Australian.

An alleged robber found staff at a takeaway shop too hot to handle after one of them threw a bucket of chilli sauce in his face.

Tyrone Holmwood reportedly tried to open the Sydney store’s cash register after he had got into a dispute with workers over payment.

The 24-year-old is said to have struck Joanna Tarnoski, 27, when she tried to prevent him from taking the money.

She then threw the chilli across his face in response, leaving the alleged robber with minor burns.

‘I didn’t think twice, I just wanted to protect myself,’ said Ole takeaway employee Ms Tarnoski.

So your instinctive response in protecting yourself from an attack was to grab a bowl full of chilli sauce? Not a knife, not a heavy blunt object, a bowl of chilli sauce! This girl is twisted.

Although it is a bit cheeky arguing over money and then diving into the till to rectify the situation. I'm pretty certain they have trading Standards in Sydney, that probably would have been a slightly less painful alternative to this.

This seems to have been such an effective deterrent that it might be a good idea for Joanna to patent it and maybe roll out a line of chilli sauce sachets that explode when they make contact with a surface. They would come in handy if you had a mob of crazed mutant kebabs on the loose, the only way to stop them would be with chilli sauce or garlic mayonnaise...wow that was a bit mad, I think I've gone mad with sunstroke. Excuse me.


Source: Metro


Where did the last 2 days go?game-dev-tycoon-screenshot

I don't normally do computer game reviews, mostly because writing about them wastes valuable gaming time, but on this occasion I felt so moved by my most recent purchase that I just had to feature it.

Game Dev Tycoon by cool indie company Greenheart Games is one of the most addictive and fun gaming experiences of my life.

There's a screenshot from the game on the right (slightly altered of course) and I'm sure you're thinking that it looks pretty basic and in truth it is, but its simplicity is the key to its addictiveness.

Forget about complex storylines or sophisticated side missions, this game is all about making money, growing your fan base and becoming a gaming legend like Peter Molyneux, Markus Persson and whichever evil bastard invented Battletoads.

There are a few things I'm not so keen on though, like how their version of the bank charges a 200% interest rate whenever you get a loan or how quickly a month passes in the game. The time lapse is quite annoying, I left the computer standing for a few minutes while I made a drink only to come back and find that 6 months had passed.

That was probably enough virtual time for me to put out 2 games, stay in my virtual office for virtual days on end, upset my virtual family with my virtual absenteeism, get virtually divorced from my virtual wife, drink myself into a virtual stupor and call the virtual Samaritans when I reached virtual rock bottom.

Those slight problems aside this is one hell of an achievement and, at only £5, it's an absolute bargain. If you have some free time on your hands I recommend...no...demand that you buy this game. I should also point out that it's almost impossible to find a pirate version of this game that Greenheart haven't put out themselves. Most pirate copies feature a code that ruins your game because your company's products keep getting, that's right, pirated. These guys are good!



Understanding The Media: Module 3 - Supermanunderstanding-the-media-logo

My highly unsuccessful and critically panned acclaimed Vodcast Understanding The Media is back, and this time I'm examining a cult character who's starred in some comics you might have heard of if you're a diehard fan: Superman.

In this feature The Man of Steel is taking on an army of Mechanical Monsters, who are sometimes referred to as the Mysterious Mechanical Monsters, presumably to annoy people who can't say their M's properly.

If you have a YouTube or Google account please like, comment or subscribe to my channel if you're so moved by the video you have to experience more.

Also if you know anyone else who likes listening to a rambling idiot taking the piss out of classic animation please spread the word. I am only one man but together we can form an unstoppable army of parody enthusiasts.


Because there's more to life than hyperbole, picking sides and making 5 new TV shows when you should be concentrating on selling books.
Why All The Anger?
Inconsiderate Travellers
Podcasts and Vodcasts

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