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Dogs Can Also Be Jerks

"OK boy! OK boy! Go get the ball...there's a good boy! Well done! Who's a good boy? You are, yes you are! Now roll over...good boy, aren't you a clever boy? Yes you are!" Now when was the last time you said that to a cat? Never that's when.

Yes they're pretty self sufficient and all that but cats aren't as smart as dogs. I don't care what any study tells you, they aren't as intelligent as dogs because they don't have the mental capacity to be as easily trained as dogs. Plus any animal that would rather stay in the house after you've moved away isn't to be trusted.

Dogs love you, it's a pretty unconditional love that can last for years and requires basic things like interaction, joint exercise, affection, food and a little bit of leadership to maintain. You give your dog that and they will want to spend as much time with you as possible.

That can be a problem though, because when you leave the house for work, school or that local fight club evening you attend every Thursday your dog might begin to act out. They might bark, cry and scratch at the door in a desperate attempt to get to you. They might even escape, costing you a small fortune in dog pound fees (although you shouldn't blame the person who took them to the pound if that happens, just count yourself lucky someone found your pet for you you irresponsible arsehole).

But we endure all their little quirks (including the smelly ones) because we love them and have done for over 50,000 years when we decided to domesticate wolves because the cows we herded just weren't any good at playing fetch.

Take the guy in the video below for example, he's in the fortunate position of being able to have a siesta every day, but his little dog just won't let him. You know why? Because the pooch just wants his master to be awake and playing with him all the time! Either that or he wants him to die of sleep deprivation so he can eat him, the guy is pretty big after all. There's probably good marbling on that meat....yummy master!




Ass Kicking Chinese Stylepolice-chinese-action-poster

The people who inhabit the People's Republic of China really are a clever bunch. They have a fascinating history and culture, they invented whisky, gunpowder and the game of Chess and continue to make the most delicious food known to mankind.

On top of that they control most of America's national debt which, if they called it in tomorrow for whatever reason, would doom the entire world to a massive financial depression since the U.S. Dollar is linked to the price of oil. That's pretty cool right?

All...well some of those things are very positive but they do get undermined somewhat by China's terrible human rights record, it's growing expansionist policy and some of the most brutal forms of population control in recorded history.

China's heavy handed approach to Tibet and the horrific Tianamen Square incident of 1989 have cast a long and dark shadow (in the eyes of the international community) over it's approach to policing it's people.

Clearly the people in power thought the Chinese Police could do with a bit of a P.R. boost so the city of Chengdu has produced these recruitment posters. You might think they're a bit violent and possibly misguided but fuck all that shit because look! Guns!

If you’ve ever wanted to be a real-life action hero, now you can - if you join the Chengdu police force in China, that is. These posters, featuring machine guns, crossbows and some rather dramatic lighting, may look like they’re advertising the latest must-see action movie, but they’re actually recruitment posters for the force.

The campaign features six in total, each highlighting a different quality needed to be one of Chengdu’s finest, such as bravery and toughness. According to the Shanghaaist, the force – which is based in the Sichuan province in southwest China - is looking to fill a total of 359 positions.

And there’s a real variety of roles on offer; from 100 posts for special armed forces and SWAT teams, to between 11 and 20 openings for women, and even eight positions specifically for people who were once in the People’s Liberation Army of Chinese Armed Forces.

Understandably these posters have caused quite the stir, although not necessarily for the right reasons. According to the Telegraph, two of the comments which appeared on Weibo (a Chinese Twitter-like site where the posters were first posted) included: ‘They look so cool! So gorgeous!’, and ‘My future boyfriend will be like this’.

Yeah, now I wanna join the Chinese Police! Can there be a better symbol of the changing face of policing in the far east than a smiling ginger haired white boy wearing body armour and secretly keeping a firm grip on his semi-automatic weapon in case anyone tries anything/sneezes in his general direction? Hell no! It's time for a change, now give me my baton and my false sense of authority over the public and let me get to work.


Source: Metro


The Explanation

So I haven't been updating this a lot recently and there's a very good reason for that: my life took a U-turn recently when I changed my job.

It wasn't because I was doing a bad job or had done anything wrong while working there, it was just one of those situations which happens in life (although far too often for my liking) and you just have to move on.

Everyone I used to work with (well almost everyone) has been very good about it and have helped make me leaving far easier than you would expect.

Invariably when you leave one work place that you love and go to another there is a period of upheaval; forms need to be filled in, things need to be printed and photocopied and belts need to be tightened.

All of those things have been happening over the last month which is why I haven't updated at all really, plus I've been trying out hot yoga which, while it's a great way to exercise, really knackers you out.

So hopefully I'll get a couple more updates in before the end of the month and continue like I used to (that's all dependent on my work schedule really) so let me just end this long winded, vague post by saying I'm sorry for the lack of activity. It's been a pretty crap month but I'm back to my usual pragmatic/slightly over analytical self and can't wait for more things that freak me out to write about. Excelsior, or some shit.





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