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Inconsiderate Travellers #37: The A.I. Editioninconsiderate travellers

It's finally happened. For years we've been trying to perfect robotic technology so we can create something (using our hands and brains instead of our private parts) that was truly self-aware.

Many people have tried; there were those fake 1950's robots with their flailing arms, those camp 1970's robots who only seemed to be able to bitch constantly and those massive yellow 1980's robots that required a sweary Sigourney Weaver to climb into them before they became any use.

Now, in the year 2014, we've finally created Artificial Intelligence, and the form the genius who created it chose to give it wasn't that of a human, it was that of a shitty duffel bag.

Not only have we taken such a massive leap forward in technological terms we've also given it the same rights as humans. No fuss, no civil rights movement, no violent uprising, it just had equality bestowed upon it when it was brought into existence.

As you can tell (from this epoch making photograph I happened to capture on the Preston - London Euston train) the first thing it chose to do with those rights is sit in a seat. Such a simple yet powerful statement, "I'm a self-aware bag, I have the same rights as you. Now fuck off and let me enjoy my seat in peace."

Did the bag care that various passengers walked passed it desperately looking for a place to sit? No and why should it?! It deserves that seat every bit as much as they do. I applaud you Mr. Duffel Bag, welcome to Earth...please don't vote for UKIP. Trust me, they're bad news.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #36: The Fashionista Edition inconsiderate trsveller henry kissinger floating head

Wow, look at stylish, young, well primped Henry Kissinger over there. Doesn't he look amazing? Surely a beauty such as his should be there for the whole world to admire. The kind of beauty that shouldn't have to share space with other human beings. It's not like you'd hang the Mona Lisa next to some stupid child's crayon drawing would you? Of course not. Same rule applies here (apparently).

This woman thinks she's so special she should be given extra room, therefore her expensive looking leather bag gets the seat next to her. Not the peons, Chinese tourists or handsome ginger Welshman standing in the doorway of the train, her bag and her bag alone deserves that spot.

Seriously though, it's a good thing this woman has helped established society's new pecking order, without structure and rules where would we be? I'll tell you where: tourists would be sitting down in comfort, bags would be stowed in overhead compartments and people like me wouldn't have anything to highlight and bitch about. Utter frickin' chaos.

There will be more of these coming in the next few weeks as the journey back from Preston to St. Albans took 5 1/2 hours instead of the expected 3. I've been told I can claim my money back from Virgin Trains but they make it so damn complicated that you give up after a few minutes, I'm sure that's by design. Crafty buggers.

Big props must go out to The Floating Head Of Henry Kissingercopyright-symbol-logofor once again protecting the identity of another selfish humanoid. Without his help I'd probably have been sued dozens of times, this way people have their identity protected and get to look like extras from a Point Break remake.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #35: The Delayed Editioninconsiderate traveller

Yeah, so, this picture was taken a while ago...a long while ago. It was taken on my last trip back to Wales where I somehow made all my connections and didn't run into any delays or meteorological disasters.

That sort of situation usually leads to one of two scenarios:

1. I become totally laid back and relaxed and let the seemingly perfect journey carry me along on it's gold coated tracks.

or

2. My Inconsiderate Travellers awareness gets heightened and I zero in on any and all dodgy people to see if they commit an act of pure selfishness.

In this case it was a young gentleman who (bless him) was 5'4" maybe 5'5" at the most. Naturally, being a borderline dwarf, he could only just reach high enough to put his bags in the overhead compartment.

I guess the potential embarrassment of having people in the carriage realise he was tiny was enough to stop him from even attempting this feat of physical endurance, so he lumped for putting his man bag next to him on the window seat.

After that he just buried his head in his iPhone (which looked giant in his child like hands) and sipped on his Red Bull like it was Courvoisier.

Red Bull might give you wings but it apparently doesn't give you energy enough to put your bag in the overhead storage bay where it's supposed to go. Fuck you Red Bull drinking dwarf boy.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #34: The Back To Basics Editioninconsiderate traveller henry kissinger

As much as moving on with your life is healthy every now and then it's good to return to what you know. There's a certain comfort in the familiar, that's probably why Superman always goes back to Smallville or why John Favreau goes from fat to thin and then back to being fat again.

That's also why I'm glad this happened. Inconsiderate Travellers can sometimes drive me insane (or fill me glee as I take a picture of the annoyance) because seeing yet another different type of person putting their luggage's comfort over that of a fellow human being used to make me feel every negative emotion there is.

Fortunately this time I wasn't angry or frustrated, I was comforted by the return of the old classic; middle aged woman puts her luggage on the window seat and sits in the aisle seat so that she doesn't have to sit next to someone.

Amazing. It made me realise that there's nothing I can do to stop this from happening, so I might as well sit back and enjoy it.

Just knowing that this is proof that the human species will never evolve beyond putting their own selfish desires before the needs of others now makes me happy because I'm documenting it. I'm exactly the same as famous historical diary keepers like Samuel Pepys, Anne Frank and that serial killer from Se7en.

Once again I feel I have to acknowledge the help of The Floating Head of Henry Kissingercopyright for protecting this woman's identity (and for not suing me for using his image in this feature).

It's hard to tell what's going on here but as memory serves the lady in question was slowly eating a handful of tiny Smurfs as she watched old footage of the siege of the Iranian Embassy on her iPad...or maybe not I can't remember, I was on a sugar high at the time.

@WhyAllTheAnger

Inconsiderate Travellers #33: The Sweatbox Editioninconsiderate-travellers-book-cover-simon-pegg-autobiography-coca-cola

So it's been a pretty insane week where lots of things I've taken for granted changing. There have been dizzying highs and pretty bloody annoying lows but all in all my life has changed for the better.

The details of the various elements of my life that have been shifting around will be outlined in tomorrow's update but now back to the main attraction.

It was a warm, sunny day when I was on my way back to North Wales from London. I probably should have been wearing something more appropriate, but I thought I was going to be ok in smart trousers and a long sleeve shirt because all trains these days have air conditioning. Well, they're supposed to at least.

I was fine until I got on my Arriva connection at Birmingham International which, at 3 hours, was the longest leg of my entire journey. When the train from Aberystwyth pulled into the platform people fell out of it in a state of undress that you usually only see at illegal raves. One old woman had to be helped to a bench. Even a blind cyclops would have seen the warning signs.

Sure enough when I got on the carriage I was immediately hit but the unmistakable stench of body odor and 100 degree heat. Apparently the onboard air con had blown a fuse and the little openings at the top of every other window were doing virtually nothing to remedy the situation.

So me and a full compliment of travellers had to suffer through hours of scorching onboard temperatures that reached higher peaks than the very summery weather outside. There were various attempts to fix the problem at major stations, all of which failed and just delayed the journey even more, prolonging our sweaty agony.

In the end I resorted to tearing the front off the book I was reading (Simon Pegg's autobiography Nerd Do Well) and using it as a fan. I tried to keep hydrated but the trolley had run out of water by the time it reached me, so I had to buy the last Coke which was so warm it might as well have been fizzy sulfuric acid.

Basically I had a thoroughly miserable journey, all thanks to Arriva's useless line of train carriages that seem to have more faults and problems than any other major company. The only saving grace was that I managed to amuse myself for hours by giving Simon Pegg Mickey Mouse ears using my ridiculously oversized Kanye West style sunglasses. Maybe I was laughing so much because I had sun stroke, who knows, whatever the case that shit was funny at the time.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #32: The Confectionery Editionyorkie-chocolate-bar

Rarely do you find a small to medium sized city in the UK that has 2 train stations, fortunately for me my home away from home St Albans does. There's the mainline station which gets you to central London in 20 - 40 minutes and the 150 year old Abbey Line station which goes backwards and forwards to Watford Junction all day long.

The Abbey Line is a pretty little station with a tiny car park and a metal kiosk that's usually only open in nice weather during morning hours. I've had stuff from there before but on this specific occasion I wanted my chocolate of choice: a god damn Yorkie.

So currency was exchanged, smiles were shared and I wandered off to the nearest bench to chow down on my milk chocolatey treat. For reasons which I cannot fully explain I decided to check the sell by date and realised, to my horror, that the delightful little pudding was A FULL MONTH past its expiration date. That wasn't the end of it either; the chocolate looked curdled and was covered in mold.

What kind of irresponsible shop keeper doesn't change his confectionery for weeks at a time? Fearing an open air debate with a less than cautious vendor might end in a violent, city destroying confrontation ala Man of Steel, I managed to get myself back up in the form of two rather burly looking police officers who just happened to be waiting for a train in full uniform.

Flanked by Danno and Steve I confronted Mr. forgetful over the problem and he immediately refunded me, closed the kiosk and jumped in his car to make a hasty retreat (actually it was the end of his day but that sounds less dramatic). The two bobbies laughed as did the people in the surrounding area, some of whom I posed the following dilemma to, "Would he have refunded me if I wasn't with two police officers?" Probably not. People be warned: never buy food from a kiosk that could double as a fallout shelter.

@WhyAllTheAnger

Inconsiderate Travellers #31: Return of the Power Socketapple-plug-socket-charger-train

Not again. Not a bloody gain. What is it with modern Arriva trains and none functioning power outlets? This is the third time I've featured this problem and still nothing has changed.

To be quite honest I'd had a good journey to Preston for the PCW events on Friday and Saturday. The journey time was minimal and the train rides had been both calming and surprisingly fun!

I was even impressed with the location of the hotel in relation to where the action was taking place. I only had to walk 7 minutes from my luxurious budget hotel to the venue, passing any number of eateries on the way. It doesn't get any better than that for me.

So after an awesome weekend of wrestling I headed back on the train (from Preston's beautiful Victorian station) to Crewe where I had to do the usual mad dash from one train to another.

As soon as I got on I made a bee line for the nearest plug socket...which didn't work. Then I tried another one...that also didn't work. Can you see a pattern developing here?

Every socket on the carriage was given the paranoid iPhone user test before I gave up and assumed the duties of broken plug socket prophet; informing others of the futility of their attempts to charge their mobile devices.

This only ever seems to happen on Arriva trains and, while I'm thankful for the extra room and comfort now provided by the modern carriages, I am a little puzzled as to why this keeps happening.

I'd like to think I'm making a difference by writing about this stuff but if I were the situation would probably have been dealt with by now...although a quick look at the decline in Arriva's share price over the last 2 years (when I started doing this) might indicate that my bitching is having an effect. Yes, that sharp drop in their value (£54.50 2 years ago - about £20 today) is entirely down to me. I'm a one man wrecking crew!iPhone-share-price-app-Arriva

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #30: The Petty Bureaucrat Editioninconsiderate-travellers-selfish-rude-henry-kissinger-floating-head

Remember a couple of days ago when I was scared that nothing interesting would happen and that the content of this site would suffer as a result? I was genuinely nervous about that, in hindsight I needn't have worried because the world gifted me with the mother of all Inconsiderate Travellers.

If you followed my tweets yesterday you'll know that the journey was going pretty well until I hit Chester where, for reasons that may never be fully understood, a bunch of Italian students decided to start dicking around with the train doors as it stood at the platform.

The result of said dicking around was a 7 minute delay at Chester which, at that point, would have a potentially disastrous knock on effects for my connection at Milton Keynes. Sure enough I arrived at Milton Keynes with less than 2 minutes to run between platforms to catch my train.

Luckily I'm as swift and graceful as a gazelle and caught the train as the doors were closing. Thanks to the intervention of 4 other passengers - who were also running for the train - we managed to get the doors to re-open for the 5 seconds required to get all the late arrivals onboard.

The sense of relief was soon destroyed by an announcement over the trains speaker system which was seemingly done for the sole purpose of humiliating the people who had dashed for the doors.

It went along the lines of "This is a reminder to passengers that doors are due to close 30 seconds before the train departs from the platform. This is to ensure no delays to the service or any trains further down the line. Delays on this line can cause MAJOR problems for passengers and..." blah blah blah.

This went on and on until the poor group of people (including me) standing by the door had been thoroughly patronised in front of a carriage full of people who were either staring at them or looking somewhat bewildered by this angry, rambling announcement. When the train manager had finished her pathetic tirade I loudly announced to the carriage that I was extremely sorry for delaying the journey the 5 seconds it took to open and close the doors, many people sniggered.

After catching my breath I then looked around the packed carriage to see if there were any empty seats only to see 6 or 7 instances like the one in the picture above; classic Inconsiderate Traveller behaviour (bag on window seat to stop anyone sitting down instead of on the floor between the persons legs or overhead), this time on a massive scale.

Now that you have the full story here are my main problems with this situation: 1. People always run for trains. Deal with it lady, it's been happening for decades, possibly centuries. I'm sure George Stephenson had to run for a one of his trains when he realised he'd left his stottie on the carriage. It's just a fact of using public transport, and letting people know that the doors close 30 seconds before departure is not going to change that culture.

2. The bags on seats issue. If you're going to humiliate passengers who delay the train by 5 seconds why not be consistent and enforce ALL train rules. Get off your arse, check people's tickets and tell some of them - like the guy pictured - to either move their luggage or cough up for a second seat. That didn't happen of course; I was on the 4 carriage train for 20 minutes and didn't once see this mysterious angry voiced lady in person. Maybe she's afraid of large crowds.

On closer examination I've come to the conclusion that this was the 2nd worst instance of Inconsiderate Travellers I've ever recorded (still not as bad as the Virgin Trains employee who blocked a seat with her luggage), thanks must go out to The Floating Head of Henry Kissingercopyright-symbol for protecting the identity of one of the selfish bag people and to the very helpful person who runs London Midland's Twitter account who listened to my complaints and helped calm me down. You are a credit to your company, unlike some of your coworkers.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #29: The Clusterfuck Editiontrain-plug-socket-not-working

It seems slightly unfair that I'm using this faulty plug socket as the visual reference for what was yet another miserable journey down south, but it was really the straw that broke the camels back.

First to the main issue; my journey (which normally takes 5 hours) was delayed by 1 hour and 40 minutes. Yep, a whopping 100 minutes. The reasons for the delay where legion but let me start with the minor (but no less excusable) quibbles I have with my Virgin Trains journey.

The train I got on at Chester was already 15 minutes late, not a great start. Then after making myself comfortable I realised that my carriage had faulty heating, which meant my journey was probably going to give me the dreaded unsightly male sweat patches.

On top of the overly hot carriage it quickly became apparent that the toilet just outside the entrance had a faulty door. The heat, combined with the stench that wafted through the entrance, caused the carriage to smell like a combination of sweaty feet and vomit.

Later, after being reassured that the overhead cable problems at Milton Keynes - that had resulted in massive delays all morning - were now resolved, which meant we could be on our way. I was only half an hour late so far, not too bad all things considered.

Sadly that changed when my train arrived a Rugby where we were informed that there had been a "fatality" at Bletchley, and the train wouldn't be going anywhere until the clean up crew had been able to carry out their unenviable duties.

The result was a stationary wait inside a stinky train which, for some reason, was still running. The added shaking of the carriage turned my delay into an hour long tumble dry in a chrome sauna with a distinctive faecal aroma.

Then, after finally getting underway again, I tried to plug my phone in for a quick charge only to quickly discover that the socket didn't work. I probably would have cried at this point if I hadn't sweated all of the liquid out of my body. Maybe I should drive down next time, at least that way I know that any unpleasant smells that waft my way are coming from me. I find that thought oddly comforting.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #28: The Sociopath EditionInconsiderate-Travellers-February-guy-on-train-blocking-seat-bag

Oh it's a bad one. A really, really bad one this time. This guy. This fucking guy. He's up there with the worst of the worst ever featured on Inconsiderate Travellers, mainly because he's committed a triple threat of other offences that riled me up so badly I genuinely felt like I was going to go insane.

First of all we have the obvious, the reason he's been bestowed with the identity protecting Floating Head Of Henry Kissingercopyright-symbol ; he's sitting in the aisle seat and blocking the window seat with his pathetic, could easily fit in the overhead compartment, luggage.

That's the standard offence that leads to people appearing here, but this guy was even more inconsiderate than the usual rabble. His first additional moment of selfishness was eating a delicious smelling cheese burger and fries combo in front of your poor starving writer.

Could he not tell that I was hungry and ill from the coughs/dribble coming from my mouth? Ever think of offering a poor stranger your burger before chowing down fattie? Clearly not. What a selfish arsehole.

His second transgression was talking loudly on his phone. When I say loudly I mean "Dom Joly in Trigger Happy TV" loud. It would have been ok if it had been one conversation, but this guy must have a pathological fear of silence because he made eight different phone calls. EIGHT!

That's enough to get you on the all time highlight reel of Inconsiderate Travellers but this scoundrel wanted more. Like an insatiable sociopath he just needed to fuck around more. So, he decided to end on his coup de gras: he physically leant over to look at what the person sitting opposite him was watching on their phone.

Who does that? That is the kind of thing that would cause anyone with slight anger management issues to go all Charles Bronson on his arse. The guy who's viewing time he had suddenly interrupted shot him a look that said "I fear for myself because you have crossed a line of acceptable social behaviour", slowly moved away from El Leanio and arched his hand in such a way that the mouth breather couldn't see his phone.

With an unmistakable look of dejection on his face the burger munching, loud talking leaner calmed himself by making a couple more phone calls and going to sleep on the desk. Fortunately he got off at Wrexham (which, as a town, has suffered enough without having to put up with this guy) and left me to play Settlers in peace. I was shocked yes, was it a moment that will haunt me forever? Probably yes. This guy is my Freddie Krueger.

@WhyAllTheAnger

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #27: The Stinky Editioninconsiderate traveller

Look at The Floating Head of Henry Kissingercopyright symbol doesn't it look dapper on it's new body?! Stylish new jacket, all black top (like that cool cat H R Giger) and some very expensive looking baggage which, of course, he just had to put on the window seat.

Anywhere else and it might get marked or scuffed, if the bag is next to him on the seat then he can protect it from any possible threat to it's integrity and value such as drunk people, trollies or Celtic warriors firing flaming arrows everywhere.

Yep, The Floating Head of Henry Kissingercopyright symbolhas become a style icon all right, you'd better believe he's going to be featured on magazine covers in the not too distant future.

That is unless he does something truly disgusting like take his shoes and socks off on a train and fall asleep...Eww! The dirty fucker has taken his shoes and socks off and fallen asleep. Disgraceful behaviour. His endorsement deals just disappeared faster than Tiger Woods'.

I've seen this type of Inconsiderate Traveller before but never in all my...umm...year and a half of doing this have I ever seen someone take their shoes and socks off on a train. I mean good god man, it's an Arriva train! People could have vomited there or dropped a disease infested needle on that very spot. This train goes through Rhyl you know.

For taking up a seat on a really busy service and taking his shoes and socks off he earns a place in the hallowed annals of Inconsiderate Travellers. Also, for the double whammy of selfishness and grossness, he has become the 4th worst Inconsiderate Traveller of all time. That's just what I think anyway, you can judge for yourself. Hell some people out there might love this guy if they have a foot fetish.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #26luggage taking up two train seats. Inconsiderate travellers number 25

Oh how impressive train passengers have been lately. Courteously moving their stuff so others can sit next to them, not screaming at each other in a way that makes people around them question whether they're deaf and saving the binge drinking for an appropriate location like the pub or the nearest park bench. It's like they've all seen this page and taken note.

While I knew it couldn't last forever I genuinely didn't see anything as selfish as this coming. Just look at this picture, honestly, have you ever witnessed anything as staggeringly inconsiderate as this in your whole life?

Yesterday was a funny old day for travelling; the flood warnings were in place but my route was largely unaffected, I managed to get a much earlier train at Crewe and arrived at Milton Keynes with plenty of time to get to my next stop. Only instead of waiting for a quicker, much larger train I foolishly jumped on the first one I could find and paid the price for my impatience.

The London Midland trains aren't exactly known for their ample storage space. You get a little overhead space, the small bit underneath your seat and that's it. Although London Midland are definitely to blame for their livestock truck approach to train travel that doesn't excuse this type of behaviour.

I had a similar sized suitcase and hand luggage and still managed to leave a seat spare beside me for someone else to use on what was a packed train. This suitcase belonged to a guy who was sitting two rows behind it. Not only did he choose to sit miles away from his luggage he didn't even attempt to stand it up, thereby only filling one seat instead of both.

Thankfully on this occasion the ticket inspector did her job and asked him to move it. When he still hadn't shifted it 5 minutes later she told him he'd either have to put it somewhere else or she'd charge him for 2 extra journeys on top of the one he had already purchased. This woman is my new hero, she's up their with Amelia Earhart and Marie Curie except she's still alive which, in many ways, makes her better than those two losers.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #25the floating head of henry kissinger

I've been waiting to put this edition of Inconsiderate Travellers up for 3 days because it's something of a double whammy. First you will notice the usual situation: arsehole blocking seat with bag even though there is plenty of space in overhead compartment for said bag. What you won't be able to see (mainly because this is a photograph and not a video/temporal gateway back in time to this exact moment) is my innovative solution to the problem.

But before I reveal my new fangled technique for removing bastards from seats let's Pulp Fiction this edition and go back to the start after giving you a sneaky peek at the ending.

This took place at Chester station, just as the packed train was departing for Holyhead. This particular train is always full because it departs at the exact time (5.25pm) when all the poor shop drones who work in Chester frantically run from their places of employment to the shiny Arriva shuttle to freedom.

This Indiana Jones/Crocodile Dundee/Jethro fan flung himself and his tiny laptop bag on to the nearest priority seat so he could have maximum leg room. He didn't even attempt to put his bag overhead, he just put it next to him, spread out and buried his head in a red top.

Fortunately your writer was there to set him straight. I got out of my seat and loudly challenged him to a duel right there on the train, which I expertly won by using my light weight rapier...actually none of that happened. I just sneezed.

Not at him mind you, I turned my head away from him and sneezed into a tissue. After wiping my nose I turned around and noticed the middle aged explorer had a look of disgust on his face that only Holocaust deniers have ever witnessed.

The douchebag stared at me for a what felt like an eternity then got up, grabbed his stuff, and moved down the train to get away from me. Not only does this guy deserve the protection of The Floating Head Of Henry Kissingercopyright symbol for being SO selfish, he also deserves it for being a massive germaphobe. You'd think someone who models themselves on explorers, crocodile hunters and farmers would be ok with a few germs by now. Maybe he's got something against handsome people.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #24train plug socket: Corporate Edition 5

This is the second time I've done a corporate edition of Inconsiderate Travellers about this very problem. Amazingly my journey to and from the south of England was virtually delay free, the Midlands was completely underwater sure, but I couldn't give two shits about that because I was heading to London.

Even more surprising was the availability of seats on the trip. All three of the trains I used on the first leg of the journey were damn near empty, the choice of seats was amazing.

After much umming, arring and strange looks from the other passengers I chose a seat, sat down and settled into a new graphic novel (Thy Kingdom Come).

Around about the time I hit Chester I decided to plug in my phone so I could listen to music without having to worry about the battery being dead in an hour (fucking iPhones)...only problem was nothing happened. No charging, no cool display image, no satisfying little 'Blip Bleep' noise. Just pure frustration.

I tried four other plug sockets on the carriage and they were all dead to. I tried one in the next carriage, and the next. All of them were dead. Even more amazingly it was the same on the return leg. The last time this happened it was slightly more acceptable because it was an Arriva train and, in all honesty, I expect them to fuck up, it's just what they do. But on a Virgin train I expect much better.

Hopefully this is a rare occurrence on their trains and won't happen again. If it does you'd better believe I'll be demanding compensation in the form of a week on Necker Island free of charge. I'm serious Branson, get it sorted.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #230: The Drunk Edition

Aren't you a lucky bunch! Yet another edition of Inconsiderate Travellers! This one is the third in a series of photographs I took on my trips to and from Bristol last week. The person featured in the 23rd installment is one of the more problematic examples I've ever come across.

I noticed him on a leg of the journey which wasn't especially busy (when compared to the insanity of the North Wales - Newport train) but it definitely had the potential to get busier as we approached Chester, which is where the usual gaggle of Cheshire Set slaves pile on the train to escape their jobs for 12 hours.

So, Mr. Nose Picker over there (even though, thanks to The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger0, it looks like he's scratching his ear) was not only being selfish by putting his bag on the seat next to him (instead of overhead) but he was also being selfish by getting blind, stinking drunk.

Yes he was hammered; there were 8 empty cans of lager on the table in front of him and a very distinctive smell began wafting from his general vicinity whenever he coughed.

The aroma was so pungent that the guy sitting opposite him woke up from his sleep, sat in the contaminated area for a couple of minutes, then got up and walked away. Presumably to talk to God down the big white telephone.

At first I thought that this was the worst example of Inconsiderate Travellers I'd ever seen, but on closer inspection it's actually quite sad. This guy is getting drunk, burping, picking his nose and blocking seats with his luggage, all in full view of total strangers.

His behaviour goes beyond narcissism or plain arrogance, it's almost symptomatic of someone who is completely unaware that what they're doing is gross/inappropriate. If that is the case then this guy can be excused for his transgressions, he's not to blame for his behaviour, his parents are.

That means that the lazy Virgin employee blocking the seat next to her with her luggage and then falling asleep (Inconsiderate Travellers #7) remains my number 1 Inconsiderate Traveller. She could be there for some time!

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #21 & #220

Hi folks, sorry for taking so long to update the site (well two days isn't that long) but I had a massive bout of the lurgy which has had me feeling quite sorry for myself over the last 48 hours. Fortunately it's on its way out now so I am going to fill you in on all the cool Inconsiderate Travellers you've missed, one of whom could be the person who gave me this cold in the first place. Cheeky bastards.

So, we begin with this young lady. She's assumed the classic position of putting a small bag on the seat next to her (even though there was plenty of room in the overhead compartment) so that no one else can sit there. She avoided the usual technique of putting the bag on the window seat, thereby making it doubly unlikely that someone will ask her to move it.

Maybe this suggests a slight psycopathic tendency on her part; maybe she's inviting confrontation because it's what she lives for. Yes indeed, this woman is a dangerous person all right, it's a damn good thing The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger0was here to protect her identity, otherwise people might sling wild accusations at this poor deranged woman.

On a serious note I should point out that this instance of selfishness was made all the worse by the sheer fact that the train was insanely busy. Arriva, in all their wisdom decided that, even though there were International Rugby fixtures in Cardiff that weekend, 2 carriages were more than enough to transport every rugby fan from North to South Wales.

I later found out that there should have been 3 carriages on the train (someone screwed up big time there) but even that wouldn't have been anywhere near enough. There are 300,000 living in North Wales, do you seriously think 3 carriages is enough to COMFORTABLY transport every paying supporter that uses public transportation down South? Not on your life buddy.

0

Moving away from the bitching we find the second entry in this edition of Inconsiderate Travellers. This might look like some sort of artsy photograph that's been set up with neat lighting and posed models but I promise you it was taken by an idiot on a shitty train.

The person with their face concealed by The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger0 isn't actually the person committing this particular offence. Although she is just as culpable for not putting her colleague (sitting opposite her) in her place.

Amazingly I got a bit of an insight into this particular Inconsiderate Traveller. It turns out that the perpetrator of this heinous act was someone who spends most of their day dealing with complaints for a phone company.

She also seems to while away the hours on her long train journey bitching about said complaints to her mate, the whole time completely oblivious to the poor sods standing in the doorway desperate for a seat to sit on.

This continued until I left the sweatbox of a train at Crewe where I managed to board a really quiet train which was only populated by polite/sleepy passengers.

I can only hope assume that after I got off the train this woman was confronted by the train manager, refused to move her stuff and was arrested at the next stop by 15 heavily armed British Transport police after a tense, 8 hour stand-off caused by her holding a complementary magazine to her throat. Paper cuts can be lethal you know.

 

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #20: The Slightly Injured Anniversary Editioninconsiderate travellers

20 already! It's amazing isn't it, 20 instances of someone acting in a selfish, thoughtless or annoying way on public transportation. Most people would just forget about it or bitch about it later to their friends/family/pet snakes but that's not for me.

I'd rather expose the selfishness of others in a useful and meaningful way, I'm a crusader for truth and justice, a hero for all mankind. Either that or I'm a passive aggressive arsehole who really should be using his skills in a more productive way.

That's what my therapist said anyway. But what the hell does he know, he has his own problems. I always hear him crying before and after each of my five and a half hour sessions, that dude is crazy!

Anyway back to this edition and look! Poor old Floating Head of Henry Kissingercopyright symbol lady has hurt herself. She's got those blister inducing crutches and a whole bag full of shopping. Obviously that can go on the table in front of her, but what about that rucksack? Well, given that she's hurt herself, that can clearly go on the seat next to her right? WRONG!

I don't care if she broke both her legs fighting off an army of ninjas intent on killing a kitten, that seat is meant for someone else lady, not your bag.

What if someone even more injured than her came along like a one legged urchin or a piano player with two broken arms, would she give the seat up then?

Hell no, the only way she's giving that seat up is if the conductor threatens to charge her for taking up an extra space. That's highly unlikely to happen though because this is an Arriva train, they have enough trouble running an efficient service without having to worry about little things like checking peoples tickets.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #19: Corporate Edition1

Hello folks, sorry for being away for so long but, as expected, my access to a work based computer was negated by my absolute exhaustion from walking all around Northumberland (pictures will be uploaded tomorrow).

It also wasn't helped by my mothers insistence on using my laptop to look at other hotels for 2 hours, only to extend our stay in the one the family were all already staying in.

Getting back to Inconsiderate Travellers, this edition will not feature The Floating Head Of Henry Kissinger1 because the culprits this time aren't a selfish person blocking a seat with a bag/coat/luggage, they're Virgin Trains and whichever bastard controls the weather.

Unless you haven't read the news in the last 48 hours (which you really should do you bloody philistine) you'll know that it's rained a lot. And by a lot I mean we've had a month's worth of rainfall in 2 days, which will please ducks, divers and people making films about Noah and the Ark, but will piss off just about everyone else.

When I started my journey I was told the only real problems were around Shrewsbury and Birmingham which wouldn't be a problem since I was avoiding those areas completely. Sadly it didn't work out like that as the rain water did what water usually does and, dun dun duuhhhh...moved.

Apparently none of the Virgin staff on our train realised that as they were convinced we would easily get from Chester to Crewe with no problems. They even assured the previously stranded extra passengers who hopped on that this train would definitely make it to Crewe. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely...not

After an hour of slow, stop start travelling (and only 2 announcements from the crew) we turned back because the line in front was completely flooded. Amazingly it took 40 minutes to get the train to go backwards, by which time the track behind us was under 6 inches of water. Scary really doesn't do the reverse journey justice; people were transfixed by the lack of a track and the potential for derailment. It was like something out of a good M Night Shyamalan film (not one of the shit ones).

That photograph was taken to demonstrate something you rarely see on train journeys these days; the feeling of terror you get when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere and water is literally rising around you. In the 2 hours it took to get from Chester, half way to Crewe and back to Chester again the water level on the track rose from nothing to 12 inches deep. You normally only see stuff like that happening on the National Geographic Channel.

Fortunately I got to my destination before midnight, after taking a coach to Crewe and yet another train from there. A journey that should have taken 5 hours took 8. The lesson here is to avoid trains at all costs when the weather turns bad and to not listen to smart arse Virgin staff when they promise you things. I've filled out a compensation form to reclaim the cost of my journey, unfortunately that probably won't happen because they'll claim the "Act of God" get out clause. Was the Virgin staff's poor judgement an act of God? That's really only for theologians and the ombudsman to decide.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #18: The Return of The Corporate Edition0

That power socket's on right? You see it there, being all on and stuff yes? Then why isn't anything happening?! Surely the fundamental relationship between the red 'on' switch position and the human has been violated here!

Let me start from the beginning; on Thursday something amazing happened, I was actually enjoying a stress free trip back up to Wales on the train. There had been no delays, the weather was good, The Smodcast I was listening to was great as always and I got a reply on Twitter from the comic book legend that is Mark Millar. In the words of Ice Cube I had to say it was a good day!

Apart from some carriage changing craziness along the way (2 carriages were removed at Shrewsbury and then 2 were added at Chester, a mere 4 stops later) the journey was going far better than expected.

It got especially good at Birmingham International when I got on the last of my 3 trains and discovered that it was a modern Arriva carriage, one of the rarest things one could ever hope to witness in a lifetime.

The site of a sparklingly clean and comfortable Arriva carriage nearly brought a tear to my eye, and best of all it was completely empty. As I had my pick of seats I naturally chose one next to a plug socket so that I could charge my power hungry iPhone. Guess what happened then!?

Yep, just like Pulp Fiction we're back to the beginning, and the reason for my rage! There is no point making comfortable modern carriages if they aren't fitted with working power outlets.

You might as well have kept the knackered, old, stinking carriages that reeked so badly people would spend ages in the toilets just so they could get a breath of fresh air.

Arriva have taken one step forward and two steps backwards with this; they finally cave in and fit their carriages with a minimal number of power outlets only to have them breakdown. This isn't even the first time this has happened to me on an Arriva train, but it will definitely be the last because I'm going to charge my phone in the stations from now on. Apparently it's asking too much for a 200 tonne vehicle that generates hundreds of Watts of static electricity to have working plug sockets.

Inconsiderate Travellers #171: The Literary Edition

Apparently this is the most popular part of my website. More people come to see Inconsiderate Travellers and The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger1than anything else on my here.

Inconsiderate Travellers gets more hits and unique visitors than 'Lily Allen naked', 'Jessie J topless' and 'Subo' (thankfully no one is looking for naked pictures of her). I'd love to spend all day publishing sexy pictures of Lily Allen or Jessie J but instead I end up putting myself in harms way by recording selfish travellers in their natural environment. Man I've matured.

So let's started this edition with this little hipster girl on the right. Thanks to the aforementioned Floating Head of Henry Kissinger1you can't tell that she's wearing glasses with no lenses which, to anyone over the age of 25, makes her look like a proper idiot.

But that's not why she's featured here, oh no, she's here because she's reading that book. You know the one I mean. It's not fair that women can get away with reading soft porn in public and men can't. Can you imagine the look of disgust I'd a guy would get from women sitting opposite them if they started reading a copy of Playboy or Hustler on the train? It's the same thing I swear!1

Hey, look at the woman on the left, she seems to be a respectable business woman. I'm sure she's going to relax after a long day at work by reading a pleasant, subtle tome about a relatable character who goes on a long journey filled with moments of self discovery and...wait is she reading that 50 shades shit as well?

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God damnit, is every woman on the planet reading this book? I really hope there is at least one female passenger on this train who isn't reading 50 Shades of menopause in the open for everyone to see.

Oh wait, here are two ladies who seem to be taking it easy after a long day of shopping. The mother seems to have nodded off leaving her daughter to plow through a gripping novel she's all but finished.

I wonder why she's waited for her mother to fall asleep before reading the book? I'm sure it's because she wants to read this classic book without any interruptions, after all, that would ruin her suspension of...wait...AHHH! SHE'S READING THAT FUCKING BOOK AS WELL! SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW!!

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #161

Two Inconsiderate Travellers in two days, aren't you lucky people! This one was actually sent to me by someone else (the Girlfriend actually) and, as you can tell, there is no need for The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger1on the perpetrator...but that guy in the back ground might be embarrassed about wearing such a plain shirt so I've given him the identity protecting treatment instead.

Unlike other Inconsiderate Travellers this is one is different because it happened on an incredibly busy service instead of one that was intermittently busy. This is a train from St. Pancras to Bedford at 10pm which, as anyone who's ever travelled from St. Pancras will tell you, is one of the worst times to travel from that station.

It's hard to tell from this picture but I'm reliably informed that the train was standing room only, well, except for that guy's coat of course. I wonder why it gets it's own seat? What wonders and secrets are hiding amongst it's mysterious folds? A map to Atlantis maybe, or a folder containing the secrets of Area 51, or possibly the reason for Bryan Dowling's continued employment despite a lack any discernible talent.

Maybe it's just that the train was so hot he decided that placing the coat on his lap could potentially lead to spontaneous groin combustion. That would have been quite a sight, a man running around a busy train screaming and point at his flaming crotch.

If any of you would like to submit a picture for Inconsiderate Travellers send it to the email address at the top of the page. You don't need to worry about editing a Kissinger head into it either, I'll do all of that and still give you credit cos I'm awesome like that. Also be careful when taking pictures of strangers, there's an art to it which basically has one rule: don't get caught or you might get your head kicked in.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #151

Yay! I love it when this happens! Even though it drives me insane when it happens in front of me, I do get very excited after I've taken my secret picture because I know it's Inconsiderate Travellers time!

Look at this woman, she fits one of the classic models of previous Inconsiderate Travellers; she's a middle aged lady who's done some shopping but doesn't want anyone sitting next to her.

There's plenty of room in the overhead compartment for her bags, but stretching her arms over her head and lifting something that weighs more than a spoon and a tub of Ben and Jerry's is clearly far too strenuous for her.

Sadly it gets worse because, at the next stop, a family of Dutch Olympic tourists got on the train but couldn't find a group of four seats together. I moved down a space to let the grandmother sit next to me, do you think this woman put her stuff on the table and moved down a place so that the young girl could also sit down? Hell no!

"Screw you you Dutch weirdos" the woman thought to herself...I imagine, "You ain't sitting next to me. You might be high on pot or desperate to eat a load of cheese or put some ice cream sprinkles on your toast! Get lost!"

So, thanks to her double douse of selfishness, this heartless wench thoroughly deserves her place in my rogues gallery of Inconsiderate Travellers. Also, take a look at the size of Henry Kissinger's Floating Head1. It's absolutely massive! I had to do that big because this woman's hair was colossal. She looked like Miriam Margolyes would if she decided to investigate the inner workings of an active plug socket using a wet folk.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #114

Wow, what a week! Lots of travelling, lots of fun, lots of laughs and many, many selfish and thoughtless travellers. This may be a new category of Inconsiderate Travellers as these two haven't strictly started their journey yet but they certainly smashed through the annoying barrier very quickly.

Although their faces are protected by The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger1 you can clearly make out a cigarette in the hand of the scrawny one in the green T-shirt (with matching green shoes the stylish devil), the even scrawnier miscreant over his shoulder is also smoking.

The station in question was plastered with no smoking signs but these two ignored all of them and lit up IN A SHELTER of all places. I would have gone outside but it was 26 degrees and sunny as hell which meant that, being a fair skinned ginger stud, I'd have turned my beautiful skin red within minutes so I had to put up with it.

While breaking the law, endangering people's health and stinking up my expensive clothes would normally be enough to get your picture on here, these lads were clearly shooting for the top when they pulled out their next masterpiece of thoughtlessness.

They started playing music from their phone, at full volume, with no headphones plugged in. Yep, they're those types! The kind of people that are normally derided by everyone around them for being either A. oblivious to their surroundings and the annoyance they are causing or B. so desperate for attention that they'll piss people off just to get some.

If they had been introducing each other to new songs that would have been fine, but they weren't, they were just relaxing on a lovely summer's day to that form of music renowned for it's calming properties: Dubstep.

So, for breaking the law and being the very embodiment of annoying teenagers these two idiots get a special place in history: they became so annoying that I had to hide their faces under Henry Kissinger's head just to calm myself down. Thanks Hank!

 

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #12 & #131

By the end of Thursday I will have spent a grand total of 20 hours on trains in 7 days. Even George Stephenson would have considered that too much. The upshot of all this travelling is I get to listen to some great podcasts, document lots of good material for Inconsiderate Travellers and develop the kind of back problems normally associated with lumberjacks and professional wrestlers.

In the first picture (on the right) we see a normal seat on a Virgin train occupied by a couple of feral bags. I know what you're wondering; where have the owners gone? Are they in the toilet? Have they gone to buy some food? Are they searching for an elderly lady who has mysteriously vanished? No, they're sitting a couple of rows away at a table. The luggage compartment was empty so they could have put their bags there but they took a different option by blocking one of the few seats on the carriage that wasn't reserved.

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The second picture (on the left) is an example of what happens when a precedent has been set. After arriving at the next station a middle aged couple sat in the seats directly behind the location of the feral bags.

Following a half hearted attempt at putting his brown leather drug dealers bag in the overhead area (which was foiled by his massive gut) the gentleman in question simply dropped it on the seat next to the one already blocked by the other bags. The seat he decided to block WAS reserved and was set to be occupied at the next station.

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The third and final picture (on the right) shows what happens when you break the rules on a train managed by someone who actually does their job well.

The train manager (or conductor or whatever they're called these days) came by and saw all of this going on and glared at the parties involved in such an effective manner that all of them followed his calm instructions without any moaning whatsoever.

It was quite a sight to behold, he effectively enforced the rules of the train without causing any distress or aggravation to anyone else around him or the idiots who had instigated this spontaneous act of installation art. He might have been the most intimidating person under 6 foot tall I've ever met in my life.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #10 & #111

Amazingly this is the first time I've featured Inconsiderate Travellers since March. Is it because I'm mellowing now that I'm in my early 30's? Is it because the public transportation network in the UK has improved dramatically? Or could it be that I've been so lost in excellent Podcasts like Smodcast and Hollywood Babble-on (both available on iTunes) that I just haven't noticed the chaos that has been going on around me. Yep, it's option 3.

Given that the trains are still shit in the UK it was only going to be a matter of time before I happened upon some more guests stars for my rogues gallery of thoughtless and selfish travellers (as usual with Inconsiderate Travellers the identity of everyone featured is being protected by The Floating Head of Henry Kissinger1).

Exhibit A. This guy is a bit of a quandary. First of all he's a professional looking 60 year old who wears McKenzie caps. I've only ever seen high-end teenage chavs wear those so that threw me straight away.

After that I began to examine the traditional Inconsiderate Traveller move he'd used (items placed on the window seat while he sat in the aisle of a busy carriage, making it even less likely that someone would ask him to clear the seat for them, because then they'd be causing him the inconvenience of having to physically move), that also confused me because he didn't fit the usual criteria of people who try this: middle aged women with Dorothy Perkins bags.

I guess this is a sign that Inconsiderate Travellers are evolving, and that I can no longer rely on my previous experiences to guide me through the fascinating anthropological study of this group of human beings/selfish bastards.

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Exhibit B. This one needs a bit more of an explanation. About an hour and a half into my 4 hour train journey from Cardiff to North Wales I passed over the border into Hereford where two skinny, blonde haired guys got on and sat a couple of seats over from me.

They must have been about 19 or 20 and were so blonde/Aryan that if it had been the early 1940's you could have been forgiven for doing a double take, because they looked like they could well have been undercover German spies.

Now, you'd think two young guys who were joining a train with only a few people on it (at this stage anyway) would be comfortable having a quiet chat with each other about whatever was on their mind.

Most people would anyway, but not these two pricks, oh no, "I went out last night...and I met this girl right?...And she was all over me and I was like "Do you fancy a go on my pork steeple?"...and she was all like "yeah baby, take me home now!"" Was the general gist of their bullshit conversation. Although to call it a conversation would be an insult to human speech as this was more of a shouting match between two idiots who had lost their hearing aids and could only lip read the words "sex", "girl" and "like".

Things got even more bizarre/annoying when they decided that their Beatboxing skills were so game changing that they needed to be shared with the world. Cue 5 minutes of terrible Beatboxing and rapping from two of the whitest guys I've ever seen. Fortunately the ordeal was short lived as Eminem and...erm...Snow, got off at the next stop, where they probably got into a rap battle with some local crips.

It's rare that I get a journey with two Inconsiderate Travellers worthy moments, but to encounter an entirely new category to add to the books well, that just about made my trip...that and seeing the sites of Cardiff...oh wait and seeing my mother.

 

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #8 and #91

Two for the price of one (hideously overpriced train ticket) on this trip! Oh would you look at this busy woman: she's got her laptop out and she's doing some important work, no doubt it's critical to the security of the nation, nay, the entire planet, otherwise she'd have taken the time to sit next to the plug socket (one of the cool new features on this rarest of rare things; a new Arriva train) and put all of her crap in the overhead compartment so that someone else could sit next to her and maybe help her finish the computerised plan she has devised to repel the secret alien invasion fleet! Oops, I've just blown her cover...thank God for The Floating Head Of Henry Kissinger1for saving her blushes and my bacon.

And now to the second instance just below. oh my, you look lost little bag. Where's your owner? What's that? He's gone to the toilet and left you wide open not realising that anyone could rifle through you or even steal from your mysterious insides! What a silly owner he is! I also notice he's left you in the aisle seat so that no one can sit by the window and ruin his already established arse groove. What a crafty owner he is.

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Inconsiderate Travellers # 7: The Worst One Yet

Look! LLLLOOOOOKKKK!! A line has been crossed! Inconsiderate Travellers has hit a new low. Never mind members of the public, this is a VIRGIN TRAINS EMPLOYEE blocking the seat next to her with her bag. It's not like anyone's going to ask her to move it, shes the boss of the train or something. You might think, "well it's only on the aisle seat, she'll move it if someone asks." Nope, she fell asleep within seconds of this picture being taken, thereby negating any chance a rando might have of prizing the seat away from her precious bag.

I hope Richard Branson sees this and sits her down in an interrogation room and grins at her non-stop until she cracks. I swear that dude smiles like Pennywise the clown. Once again thanks to Henry Kissinger's head for protecting this woman's anonymity. I would use a black blur but that wouldn't inspire quite as much respect now would it?

 

 

 

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #6: Return of the Corporate Edition

It nearly didn't happen you know. I nearly went a full round trip without any people putting bags on seats to stop other passengers sitting next to them or train companies overbooking their journeys, thereby forcing families to stand in the aisles or drunk weirdos shouting loudly at no one in particular while everyone in their immediate vicinity does their best Helen Keller impression. Nearly is the key word here though. There were a couple of instances of annoyance, like the reservation signs not working for a portion of the return journey and the Arriva conductor not enforcing any of the seat reservations on the way down (an all too common occurrence with them) but nothing major...until this happened.

On the way down I had the misfortune of sitting next to a couple with twin toddlers who were clearly conducting an experiment on their parents hearing by having a crocodile tears contest. After 30 minutes of constant wailing I made the decision to leave my seat and sit in the corridor so I didn't end up screaming at all four of them (although I'm pretty certain everyone around me would have applauded given the looks they were shooting the parents), amazingly the ice cold corridor and grubby floor were like a spa treatment compared to the screaming carriage of despair. I probably would have fallen asleep right there on that manky carpet had the heavy wall compartment (holding the fire extinguisher and power box) not violently swung open and scared the piss out of me.

It did provide some entertainment though, especially when I noticed the DANGER! sign; just imagining the various ways that this thing could have hurt people who would have then starred in hilariously bad injury claims adverts kept me entertained for the 30 minutes it swung dangerously back and forth before I got off the train. Not one Virgin employee passed me in that time. It's really nice when major companies give me such good material to work with! God bless them, everyone!

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Inconsiderate Travellers #5: The Corporate Edition

It's back, yet again, and isn't it telling that every time I use public transport in this country I run into some sort of selfish, obnoxious or downright arrogant behavior, and that's just from the miserable sod behind the counter at the train station. This time it's far worse; normally it's some middle aged woman putting her Dorothy Perkins bags on the window seat next to her so no one can sit there, but this time the major corporations have gotten involved.

It goes like this: Arriva run the North Wales rail services, they bid for the contract, won, and it became theirs to do with as they wanted. Guess what they chose to do with the trains in North Wales, go on, guess! They decided that every train was going to be made up of Two carriages. That's their strategy: two carriages everywhere.

I once went down to Cardiff for a Wales vs Australia rugby test match (the last one Wales won against the Aussies on home soil) and they put on...you got it, two carriages for every rugby fan in North Wales to use to get down to the capital in time for the game, both of them were rammed full of pensioners, families and drunks who wet themselves in the aisle next to me. Hundreds of people complained and were reassured that it would never happen again.

That was 2008, have they changed anything? Well...no. Any train you get from Chester to Holyhead is two carriages and they are always busy. So Arriva, seeing the error of their ways no doubt, have put extra seats in selected areas. As you can see from the plush La-Z-Boy esque loungers they've installed in the corridor between carriages the company have certainly taken a proactive approach to easing overcrowding. On a related note my hands are bigger than Andre The Giant's, in fact mine are so big they make his look like Warwick Davis' hands...ok I'm lying, I have small hands defined by years of playing computer games and Arriva have taken the easy way out by putting these miniscule things in the corridors instead of attaching another carriage to the train. In 5 years of using this service regularly I haven't once seen it less than standing room only. Please Arriva, as a very early Christmas present, put one more carriage on your services. If you do I'll make sure you win the Nobel Prize for ummm...best international newcomer or something.

 

Inconsiderate Travellers #4

Well I'm back from my third Christmas celebration since December 25th and once again I was fortunate enough to witness the growing phenomenon of people leaving their luggage/shopping on empty seats so they don't have to suffer the indignity of sitting next to another human being on a busy train.

Notice how this lady not only takes up the window seat with her miniscule amount of shopping, (the most common tactic amongst her ilk as people are less likely to cause a fuss and ask her to move her luggage due to the potential for it to cause a scene and lead to lots of tutting) but she also manages to shove a giant newspaper on the table in front of her so that I can't comfortably get my laptop out.

I'm beginning to see a worrying pattern here: of the 4 people that have featured on Inconsiderate Travellers 3 of them have been ladies between the ages of 45 and 65. I don't know why women of that age feel the need to make people around them squeeze into the aisle and stare longingly at the wasted seat space like a fat man eyeing up a steak that's been on the floor for 5 minutes, but I have a theory. Maybe, just maybe, they're part of a secret society hell bent on bringing the world to its knees through sheer frustration at lazy train conductors not enforcing rules against such wreckless and anti social behaviour. The evil geniuses!

 

 

It's the long awaited return of...

Inconsiderate Travellers! I would have done this yesterday had my family not selfishly decided to invite me to a wonderful evening of reminiscence and love, pfft, some people aye! Anyway this is a picture I took on the return leg of my recent short break, specifically the last part, Chester - North Wales, which is always the busiest segment of the journey because Arriva in their infinite wisdom decided that two carriages is more than enough space for 200 million people to cram into.

As you can tell from the picture on the right this lady somehow managed to reserve a seat on this cattle train, but instead of sitting in the seat and putting her luggage overhead or under her seat she decided that the comfort of her purchases was more important to her than the wellbeing of another human. It's ok to do this on an empty train but this thing was rammed full of people, it was like Hong Kong or something. I hope that just one of the people reading this is a conductor and decides to make a stand by charging these people for the extra seat they are taking up because it just isn't fair damnit!

Thanks must go to Henry Kissinger for once again providing a selfish person with anonymity, and also for drafting the Paris Peace Accords which ended America's nightmarish involvement in Vietnam, thanks Henry.

 

Because there's more to life than hyperbole, picking sides and being Inconsiderate Travellers after visiting this page. If you aren't careful you'll end up on here with the rest of these losers.
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